Here’s A Hell Of A Story About A Naked Avery Johnson Trying To Beat Malik Rose’s Ass In The Spurs Locker Room

Avery-Johnson

by Tommy Gimler

Here’s something that Avery Johnson probably didn’t highlight on his resume when he interviewed at the University of Alabama.

Every now and then you come across a story that will make you question if a line between sensibility and insanity truly exists. David Cone jerking off in the Mets bullpen, Kevin Mitchell decapitating his girlfriend’s cat and Patrick Ewing being one of those “swinging past your knees” big dick players are a few that quickly come to mind.

And now, it appears as though we can throw Alabama head coach and former San Antonio Spurs guard Avery Johnson’s name into the mix.

Like most NBA players, Johnson was really good at bitching, but it was usually reserved for the crooks refereeing the game. Well, it turns out that on one February night in 2000, Johnson was none too pleased with his teammate Malik Rose both on the court and in the locker room after the game. Naturally, that led to Johnson getting butt-ass naked and trying to thrown down with Rose.

No, seriously:

The Chicago Tribune reported in March 2000 that Spurs guard Avery Johnson was angering teammates with selfish complaining after being benched in several fourth quarters for Terry Porter, who was a better 3-point shooter. During a 92-81 Spurs loss at Cleveland on Feb. 15, 2000, Johnson and teammate Malik Rose argued over a defensive play when Cavaliers guard Andre Miller got a 3-point play.

After the game, a nude Johnson tried to slap Rose in front of his locker while on his way to the shower, a source told The Undefeated. Rose lunged forward to hit Johnson and slipped and fell after stepping into teammate Mario Elie’s bucket of ice. Rose was held back by teammates Felton Spencer and Jerome Kersey. Still nude, Johnson started pacing around the locker room, throwing stuff around and breaking a television while having words for Popovich, Robinson, Rose and Porter about the team no longer being his.

Sounds to us like this is really all Mario Elie’s fault. I mean, pick up your fucking bucket of ice when you’re done with it, bro.

In a related story, with the exception of Rose, I have a Hoops basketball card for every single one of those players mentioned in the story sitting somewhere in my parents’ basement. Felton fucking Spencer. I mean, if you would have told me over the weekend that I was going to be writing a story today involving his ass, I would have wagered a million bucks against you.

And now I’d be hightailing it for Mexico because I obviously don’t have that much scratch lying around…

Wait, there’s more: Instant Karma Strikes Again As Boxer Wearing ‘America 1st’ Trunks With Wall Pattern On Them Gets His Ass Kicked By Mexican Fighter

You have got to see this shit:

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