The Team LeBron Jinx Is For Real As Kristaps Porzingis Dicks Up His Knee Dunking On The Greek Freak

porzingis injury

by Tommy Gimler

It’s official: At this point, you’re better off getting into a car with a drunk Vince Neil behind the wheel instead of playing for Team LeBron at the NBA All-Star Game.

Heading into tonight’s slate of meaningless NBA games, three of the players James drafted for his team at the All-Star Game in Los Angeles next weekend suffered some rather significant injuries, leaving many to wonder if being on Bron-Bron’s team was a bigger jinx than dating a Kardashian.

First, it was DeMarcus Cousins tearing his Achilles in his contract year, something that is almost as frowned upon as going down on Ellen Albertini Dow. Then it was John Wall who announced that he had a fucked up knee and needed surgery on it, and that was followed by Kevin Love breaking his left hand.

But if none of that convinced you that Team LeBron was cursed, then “The Unicorn” going down after taking “The Greek Freak” to Chinatown during New York’s 103-89 loss to Milwaukee sure as shit should.

Yeah, so he’s fucked.

And hell, with 12 days to go until the All-Star Game, you have to be asking yourself, “Who’s next?” Personally, if I’m either Victor Oladipo or Bradley Beal, I’m calling up Gilbert Arenas and asking him to shoot me in the ass so I just miss a few games instead of breaking my leg Paul George style and missing the rest of the year…

Wait, there’s more: One Eagles Fan Was So Excited About Winning The Super Bowl That He Decided To Eat Horse Shit

You have got to see this shit:    

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