The Perfect Redneck Found A Checkered Can Of Busch In His 18-Pack And Won A Trip To The Daytona 500

darren gallagher busch

by Frank Rhombus

You don’t need all of your teeth to feel like the luckiest man on the planet.

Meet Darren Gallagher. He’s the 55-year-old retired bricklayer who’s going to the Daytona 500 for free after finding a checkered can of Busch beer in the first 18-pack he opened after seeing the promotion and likely having somebody read it to him.

“Half of my childhood – my life – I’ve been drinking Busch beer, and it finally paid off,” Gallagher recently told the crew at Fox 2 Now. In other words, more than 27 years of the runs and gut rot were totally worth it.

Watch as Gallagher put on his Sunday best and sat down to talk about the moment he turned into a NASCAR fan for the rest of his life.

I know that 2018 is younger than a boy Kevin Spacey likes to rape, but that is a strong favorite for “Interview of the Year.”

Busch is sending 249 other rednecks and a guest to Daytona for the race’s 60th anniversary. If you haven’t found a checkered can of Busch yet, you have until tomorrow to print up a checkered label here and upload a picture of you celebrating with the checkered can or can wrap to their social media platforms. But if you live in California, you can’t show the beer in your photos because we’re all a bunch of pussies out here and that is illegal for some reason.

If your photo is determined to be a winner, you’ll not only receive an all-inclusive trip to the Daytona 500, but you’ll also get to attend the Busch Happy Hour and a meet and greet with Kevin Harvick before beelining it to the nearest shitter…

Wait, there’s more: Will Justin Timberlake Reunite With *NSYNC And Will Al Michaels Say ‘My Nut Zach Ertz?’ Super Bowl 52 Prop Bets That Could Make You Rich

You have got to see this shit:

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