New Mets Manager Mickey Callaway Feels Very Strongly About Not Dry Humping His Guys

mickey callaway

by Tommy Gimler

Maybe going straight for the balloon knot on the first date instead of fucking around with that over the clothes bullshit is what Matt Harvey needs to get back on track.

While Mickey Callaway was at the helm of the Cleveland Indians pitching staff, his hurlers led all of baseball in curveball usage. And it appears as though he’s starting off his reign as manager of the New York Mets with one hell of a curveball as well, saying today that “dry humping guys is something that I feel very strongly about.”

“That’s a lot of wear and tear that’s needless.”

Funny. I said the same thing about dry humping to a girl in high school, and she kicked me out of her stepfather’s house.

Bottom line here is that Corey Kluber won the AL Cy Young Award not once buy twice while Callaway was his boss, so let’s not knock Callaway’s unorthodox pep talks just yet.

Personally, I think it’s good to see that Callaway is very aware of today’s #MeToo culture, and he’s making it very clear that we won’t be seeing him dry humping Jacob deGrom when he makes a visit to the mound with bases loaded and one out in the bottom of the sixth this year…

Wait, there’s more: Here’s The Perfect Valentine’s Day Card For That Football Lover In Your Life

You have got to see this shit:

aaron hernandez valentines day card

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