The Eagles, Nick Foles And His Massive Schlong Are 5-Point Underdogs In Super Bowl 52

nick foles super bowl

by Tommy Gimler

If what they say is true, Eagles quarterback Nick Foles is swinging the biggest dick in the Eagles locker room.

With projected temperatures for Super Bowl 52 festivities in Minneapolis projected to be in the teens, odds are it won’t be as lengthy as he’s used to, but we’ll make the assumption that neither he nor his Eagles teammates give a shit about it. That’s because for just the third time in franchise history, Philadelphia is off to the Super Bowl.

Their opponents? You guessed it: The dreamy Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.

If you’re not a fan of either of those two teams, odds are the only way you’ll be interested in what happens is if you have cash on the game. Well, the thugs in Vegas are here for you, as they have already set the spread and the point total for the big game on February 4. The New England Patriots are early five-point favorites over the Eagles, but it will cost you 225 clams to win 100 if you take them with the money line. If you think the Eagles are going to win, then a $100 bet will net you $188.

As far as the point total goes, the thugs think the two teams will combine for 48 points.

Personally, I think the safest bet to make at this point is that there will be at least 4,000 unplanned children conceived in the Greater Philadelphia metro area tonight. Hell, the over might have hit already…

Wait, there’s more: Probably Not The Best Idea To Let A Guy Who Needs A Motorized Scooter On Land Drive A Boat In Which You Need To Stand To See In Front Of You

You have got to see this shit:

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