What A Ride: Baker Mayfield Has Gone From Getting Arrested To Suspended To AP Player Of The Year In Less Than 22 Months

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by Tommy Gimler

Grabbing his balls and telling the Kansas sideline to go fuck themselves was by far our favorite Baker Mayfield moment.

But it turns out the AP college football voters preferred his play on the field over that, as 51 of the 56 voters gave him a first-place nod, making him the fourth Oklahoma quarterback since 1998 to be named AP Player of the Year.

Mayfield curb stomped the competition, coming in with a grand total of 157 points while Stanford running back Bryce Love and Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson came in with 83 and 39 points respectively. According to the four-letter, Mayfield leads the nation in passer efficiency rating and has thrown for 4,340 yards and 41 touchdowns with just five interceptions.

But he also leads all top players in arrests and suspensions, and that’s why he’s number one in our hearts here at the DUD. I mean, who can forget Mayfield yelling “Are you kidding me? I’m done!” as Arkansas police tackled him hard against a cement wall and then to the ground in February 2016? He must drink a shit ton of milk, as how he didn’t break his jaw or his hip on this hit is beyond us.

And then who can forget this from the Oklahoma-Kansas game a few weeks ago, as Mayfield grabbed his giblets and yelled “Fuck you!” to the Kansas players after throwing yet another touchdown on their sorry asses? To be fair, they were the dicks who wouldn’t shake his hand at the captain’s meeting at midfield prior to the game, so we don’t have a problem with the ol’ lick my sack routine from the other sideline.

Mmmmm. Tasty.

It’s obviously been quite an eventful two years for Baker Mayfield, and it’s only going to get bigger for the senior in the coming weeks when he takes home the Heisman and leads the Sooners into the College Football Playoff. Plus, you have to think there’s going to be another cock grab or two along the way, either on the field or a funny Christmas card that some aunt looking for meth money leaks to TMZ or some shit…

Wait, there’s more: JuJu Smith-Schuster’s Hit On Vontaze Burfict Is The Best Thing I’ve Seen From The NFL This Year

You have got to see this shit:

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