Is It Me Or Is Michael Bennett One Giant Bag Of Shit?

NFL: Preseason-Minnesota Vikings at Seattle Seahawks

by Frank Rhombus

If you’re still looking to get either of the Bennett brothers a Christmas gift for some reason, a mesh bag of dicks seems appropriate this year.

Last month, we outlined why Martellus Bennett is nothing short of a “giant pile of dog shit,” but it turns out that compared to his brother Michael, he might be the sports world’s “Person of the Year.”

Believe it or not, Seattle Seahawks DE Michael Bennett is up for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. What does it take to be nominated for this honor? You guessed it: Lying your fucking ass off about racial profiling by the Las Vegas Police Department and trying to end an opposing player’s season by rolling up on him while he and his teammates are in victory formation.

You can read about Bennett’s lies and false accusations made against the LVPD here, but as long as you’re not Stevie Wonder, you’ll be able to watch him be an absolute sack of fuck at the end of yesterday’s 30-24 loss to Jacksonville here:

That was Bennett trying to seriously injure Jaguars center Brandon Linder because he was either hopped up on the best jenkem money can buy in Florida, or he’s just fucked in the head. Our guess is it’s the latter, but whatever his reason was for being a shitdick of biblical proportions, it started a melee that eventually ended with his teammate Quinton Jefferson getting ejected and then trying to climb into the stands after getting not one but two beers thrown at him along with some kind of yellow bag that looks like it might have contained somebody’s seeing-eye dog’s feces.    

Again, that all happened because Walter Payton Man of the Year Award nominee Michael Bennett is a lying fraud of a human being on and off the field. Enjoy your Monday, kids…

Wait, there’s more: What A Ride: Baker Mayfield Has Gone From Getting Arrested To Suspended To AP Player Of The Year In Less Than 22 Months

You have got to see this shit:  

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