Which Is Crazier, Alabama Playing Hoops With Just 3 Guys Or This Teacher Doing Coke In The Classroom?

alabama three players

by Tommy Gimler

If you thought taking four massive shits before noon on Friday was nuts, wait until you see this.

Believe it or not, the University of Alabama has a men’s basketball team that people actually care about, and they had a game against Minnesota Saturday afternoon at the Barclays Center in New York. Now, odds are you missed it because you were busy doing something more productive like crapping out three pounds of bird and cranberry sauce, but that means you missed the Crimson Tide roll for the final ten minutes of the game…wait for it…with just three fucking guys.

How does that happen? Well, everybody on the bench – including the token white kid who only plays during the final 30 seconds of a game against a school for the blind – getting ejected for leaving the bench area during a brawl between two idiots who think they matter to the game of college basketball is a good place to start, as it leaves you with just the five players you had on the court.

And when one of those guys fouls out just a few plays later and another twists his ankle shortly after that, you’re left with just three dudes to finish out the game. You can watch it unfold here if you want, and if you can make it through its entirety with this shitdick putting his take on what happened, you’re nothing short of a goddamn champion.

That’s crazy, but even crazier than that? You guessed it: Alabama actually outscored Minnesota after that. Down 13 points when they dropped down to just three players remaining on the court, the Crimson Tide wound up losing by just five points. Remember that come tourney time when that demented fuck Dickie V tells you to take the Golden Gophers to the Elite Eight.

We scoured the World Wide to find something that could rival that for this week’s “Gary Busey Award” for batshit craziness, and we’re pretty sure this clip from an Indiana high school does the trick, as it’s not everyday that you see an English teacher doing a line of snout candy. Allegedly.

That’s 24-year-old Samantha Cox, and I believe the legal terminology we’re looking for here is that she’s “fucked.” Police escorted her out of Lake Central High School and she’s now facing drug charges.

So you make the call, kids. Which of those is crazier? Vote below, especially if you’re taking time off from ridding the streets of Ybor City of bruised hookers and meth heads like Precinct 3′s finest…



Wait, there’s more: Nice Little Brawl At The Baylor-TCU Game Today

You have got to see this shit:

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