Wisconsin Man Locked In Kwik Trip Beer Cooler Gets Arrested For Not Paying For The Beer He Drank

kwik trip beer cooler

by Tommy Gimler

This guy is only 38? Jesus. Somebody might want to check the radiation levels at his house.

According to WBAY, a 38-year-old Marshfield man was arrested and charged with retail theft after authorities said he became locked inside of the beer cooler at a Kwik Trip and decided to spend his time on lockdown drinking some of those brews.

Police said Jeremy Van Ert “drank an 18 ounce bottle of Icehouse Beer and three cans of Four Loko,” and he also “fell over a stack of 30 pack Busch Light Cans” after getting locked inside the Kwik Trip beer cooler Tuesday night. He remained there until a customer saw him at 6 a.m. Wednesday morning and let him out.

Van Ert’s newfound freedom didn’t last long, however, as he left the Kwik Trip without paying his tab. Police caught up with him a short while later and arrested him for not only refusing to pay for his drinks but also not obeying his probation orders from a previous case that required him to stay sober.

Three thoughts

1. For starters, you can’t really knock Van Ert for being a drunk. I mean, have you been to Marshfield, Wisconsin? And we totally get why he didn’t throw the cashier a couple of bucks for his drinks, as the combination of a free bottle of Icehouse and three cans of Four Loko seems like a rather fair trade for being locked inside your cooler for more than six hours. I personally would have gotten my money’s worth by polishing off every last bottle of Spotted Cow…

2. We’re surprised that after drinking three cans of Four Loko, Van Eat wasn’t able to get outside by simply running through the fucking wall…

3. It’s probably a good thing this guy didn’t get locked inside of a Kum & Go. Lord knows what he would have done in their cooler for more than six hours…

Wait, there’s more: South Carolina And Wisconsin Fans Get Ejected From College Football Games The Most

You have got to see this shit, Shooter:

shooter mcgavin mug shot

What do you think? Leave a comment or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Image Description