Umpire Jim Wolf And The Rest Of His Crew Can Eat A Dick For That Curtis Granderson Foul Ball Call Last Night

curtis granderson game 4 foul tip

by Tommy Gimler

And so can Curtis Granderson for insinuating that his bat touched the ball.

It usually comes from the likes of Angel Hernandez or C.B. Bucknor, but poor umpiring in postseason baseball games really chaps my ass no matter who’s making the shitty call.

Well, that’s one way to put it in terms of what went down in the eighth inning of last night’s NLCS Game 4. Another way to put it is that it’s the worst fucking thing I’ve ever seen from an umpiring crew in a postseason game. Sure, Don Denkinger flat out missed that call at first base in the 1985 World Series, but it wasn’t like he first called him out and then got together with the rest of the blowhards in blue, huddled up and then said, “Actually, that guy was safe.”

Sadly, that’s pretty much what happened last night with the Cubs clinging to a 3-2 lead and Wade Davis trying his damnedest to make sure it stayed that way. Davis threw a nasty knuckle curve below the strike zone that Curtis Granderson swung at and missed, something that home plate umpire Jim Wolf initially also said was the case.

But then Granderson pulled out his best “I’m a real dickhole like A.J. Pierzynski” impression and insisted that he had actually fouled off the pitch. That led to Dodgers manager Dave Roberts walking out onto the diamond and asking the rest of the umpire crew to huddle up and see if anybody saw anything different than Wolf. And wouldn’t you know it, there was one turd named Eric Cooper down at third base who insisted that he saw Granderson make contact with the ball, so Wolf changed his mind and called it a foul ball.

Naturally, it was at that exact moment that Cubs manager Joe Maddon lost his shit and got tossed from the game.

Three things here:

1) Sadly, the punishment for changing your mind and blowing a call like that is that you get to work today’s Game 5.

2) Whether you’re a hitter in the Special Olympics or a batter in the NLCS, you know whether or not your bat actually clipped an incoming pitch. The solution to Granderson trying to pull a fast one on the umpiring crew (and succeeding) is simple: Make that call reviewable, and if it turns out that Granderson was indeed trying to dupe the umpires, the punishment for Granderson for attempting to do so is nothing less than having to walk out to the pitcher’s mound, drop his drawers and then jam his Louisville Slugger up his lying ass.

3) There have been increasing cries for replacing umpires with robots someday. If Commissioner Rob Manfred wants to get the point across to his increasingly unreliable human umpires, he might want to take a line or two out of this gem from Caddyshack‘s Lou Loomis. Seriously, all he has to do is replace “poor caddying” with “poor umpiring” and “golf carts” with “robots.”

Thankfully, there was actually some good that came out of Wolf and Cooper’s shitdickery. For starters, Granderson struck out on the next pitch instead of hitting it out of the ballpark. Plus, it gave us this gem of a quote from Joe Maddon about what he would have done had Granderson actually homered on the next pitch:

“If he hits the next pitch out I might have come running out of the clubhouse in my jock strap,” Maddon said after the game, per Mike Puma of the New York Post.

And that, kids, would have been one of the greatest moments in the history of Major League Baseball. Seriously though, Jim Wolf, eat a dick…

Wait, there’s more: Mia Khalifa Got Crushed On Twitter After Sending Steph Curry A Picture Of Her Feet

You have got to see this shit:

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