South Carolina And Wisconsin Fans Get Ejected From College Football Games The Most

badgers fans

by Tommy Gimler

And our guess is that 95 percent of those ejections involved flasks and barfing.

According to @BustedCollege, which is run by Dan at Busted Coverage, the list of the top ten schools in terms of the most college football fan ejections has been released, and it appears as though nobody knows how to get thrown out of a football game like a Gamecocks fan.

We were right in our assumption that alcohol is the number one factor in fans getting tossed from the stadium, but for fuck’s sake, how else are you supposed to make it through 60 minutes of Wisconsin and Iowa running the ball at three yards a pop when it’s colder than a witch’s tit outside?

Here’s the complete list with our take on each school:

1. South Carolina Gamecocks – 0.92 ejections per 1,000 fans

gamecocks

Our guess here is that the majority of people entering Gamecocks games just simply can’t read the sign telling them that alcohol isn’t allowed inside the stadium…

2. Wisconsin Badgers – 0.72 ejections per 1,000 fans

wisconsin-disorderly-fans

I went to an Iowa-Wisconsin game at Camp Randall two years ago, and the Hawkeyes beat the Badgers 10-6 in a game that featured 14 penalties and six turnovers. Needless to say, I threw myself out of the game and finished watching that shitshow from a bar across the street…

3. Oregon Ducks – 0.56 ejections per 1,000 fans

oregon-ducks-cheerleaders-2011-bcs-game

They’ll tell you that the majority of fans were ejected because of booze, but you and I both know damn well that Phil Knight probably has security guards kicking out anybody who wears Adidas shit to his games…

4. Oregon State Beavers – 0.56 ejections per 1,000 fans

oregon state fans

I’d be blackout drunk and getting kicked out games on a regular basis if my beloved team sucked balls as often as the Beavers do…

5. Nebraska Cornhuskers – 0.37 ejections per 1,000 fans

nebraska fans

I have been to Nebraska six times, and I’ll be honest, that was six times too many. There is literally nothing else to do except get hammered, hit on some dean’s daughter and get thrown out of a football game, one that these days is probably a Cornhusker loss…

6. Utah Utes – 0.37 ejections per 1,000 fans

NCAA Football: Idaho State at Utah

For starters, we’ll set the odds of that guy in the upper-right of the photo accidentally shitting himself at 3:2. And you’ll notice that Utah - not BYU – is on the list, as we all know getting caught drinking, masturbating or talking to a black person at BYU will likely get you executed…

7. Wyoming Cowboys – 0.35 ejections per 1,000 fans

wyoming

There are so few people living in Wyoming that if War Memorial Stadium is at capacity on a Saturday afternoon, it means that more than five percent of the people living in that state are at the game. And because it’s Wyoming, 100 percent of them, including the kids, are shithoused…

8. Florida Gators – 0.34 ejections per 1,000 fans

gators fan

This number might be inflated due to the high number of fans who get ejected on purpose in hopes of getting circumcised by Tim Tebow in the stadium’s underbelly while police run an ID check…

9. Georgia Bulldogs – 0.34 ejections per 1,000 fans

USP NCAA FOOTBALL: GEORGIA AT MISSOURI S FBC USA MO

This story from “Nick” in regards to the Georgia-Florida football game known as the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” pretty much sums it up:

I was in college. My best friend and I traveled form Birmingham last minute to go to the game. Needless to say, we got to Jacksonville late (5 a.m.). We sleep under a bridge in the car and we woke up around 8 a.m., surrounded by UF fans who at this point have made fun of us for two hours by now for being sleep. We party like every other kid that day. We go into the stadium an hour early so my friend could sleep before the game, and he lays down in the aisle.

Game kicks off, he is still sleep. The people next to us didn’t mind and kinda laughed — a guy mentioned that he hasn’t seen his granddad and he was supposed to be here by now. 

Granddad shows up with hand cuff on his hand screaming ‘I ESCAPED!’ I couldn’t believe it. I asked ‘from what?!’ He apparently got arrested or detained before the game and as they were putting cuffs on him, a fight broke out, and he slipped into the stadium. 

My friend meanwhile wakes up at the end of the first quarter and looks at me and says ‘Have I missed anything?’

10. Florida State Seminoles – 0.33 ejections per 1,000 fans

seminoles fans

This one is interesting, as we thought the top two things to do at Florida State were “not graduating” and “getting raped by Jameis Winston.” Hmmm, Samsonite. We were way off…

Wait, there’s more: 49ers Hit Rock Bottom, Send Fans Survey Asking If Winning Is Important To Them

You have got to see this shit:

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