If You’re Going To Bring A Glove To A Baseball Game Then Catch The Damn Ball, Nerd

joc pederson home run

by Tommy Gimler

Man, the left field bleachers at Dodger Stadium sure looked like quite the sausage fest Tuesday night.

Good news, lady. The Dodgers won and forced a Game 7. The bad news? You guessed it: Your left ovary is fucked.

And why is that the case? Well, you guessed it: Because some fucking dork decided to bring a glove to a baseball game despite the fact that he’s an adult male, and when the time came to use the fucking thing, he was just like a six-year-old kid whose dad signed him up for tee ball even though he just wants to stay home and paint flowers or some shit. And by that, we mean that he was absolutely worthless.

Actually, there were three gloves in the mix there, yet the ball still found a way to destroy this poor lady’s abdomen. Still, we’re blaming the dude in front of her, as it looked as though he had the best shot at it. Short Round in the back had his view totally dicked by the nerds and their gloves in front of him, and I guess you could say the same thing about Big Poppa in the Brooklyn Dodgers hat.

I suppose you could also pin some of the blame on the poor young lady for not getting out of the way, as everybody knows that when you see a grown man wearing a glove at a baseball game, the odds of him actually catching a ball is somewhere between rather poor and not a fucking chance. Of course the exact opposite would be a man who’s holding a beer in one hand and a baby in a carrier around his neck. The odds of him catching the ball in the that case is 100 percent…

Wait, there’s more: Wisconsin Man Locked In Kwik Trip Beer Cooler Gets Arrested For Not Paying For The Beer He Drank

You have got to see this shit:

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