Friendly Reminder To Not Rub Packers Players’ Dicks During Lambeau Leaps

aaron jones lambeau leap

by Tommy Gimler

Looks like rookie running back Aaron Jones had himself one of those #MeToo moments Sunday afternoon during Green Bay’s 26-17 loss to New Orleans.

Despite the loss, the game did get off (pun intended) to an exciting start for Packers fans, as Jones ran 46 yards for a tuddy. In fact, one female Packers fan was so excited about it that she decided to rub Jones’s yogurt slinger after he jumped into the crowd for one of those infamous Lambeau Leaps.

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Look, lady, we get it. I mean, it’s probably been a while since you’ve have your hands on something that big, and our guess is that your panties were a lot like Hope Solo’s hump hole after your hand’s three-second thrill ride: absolutely wrecked.

But for fuck’s sake, try to show some restraint. An accidental pecker pet is one thing, but once you’ve realized that that isn’t his quad muscle, it’s time to pull back, as Jones is human being, not an amusement park ride. Even if this was your daughter’s bachelorette party, save it for a private room at the Oval Office after the game while you’re scarfing down some of their tasty $12-bruschetta. (Side note: $18 is way too much for their calamari, though).

Also, if Aaron Jones sends you a Venmo request for anywhere from a few dollars to 25 bucks later this week, I’d go ahead and pay the man. He earned it…

Wait, there’s more: The Bills Mafia Was Once Again In Full Effect Today

You have got to see this shit:

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