Turd Mets Pitcher Hansel Robles Walks Three Rockies In A Row And Throws Last Pitch To The Backstop To Lose Game

hansel robles sucks

by Tommy Gimler

It’s official: The only thing funnier than the ways the New York Mets come up with to lose baseball games is watching Floyd Mayweather trying to read.

The Mets have been out of the postseason picture since April, but it seems as though the boys in Queens have decided to actually play out the remainder of their games instead of just forfeiting them and focusing all of their efforts on hunting for choice offseason puss.

And this is the perfect example of the kind of shit that happens when the Mets decide to play baseball.

Believe it or not, the Mets were actually in Thursday afternoon’s game against the Rockies at Coors Field. With the score tied at four apiece in the bottom of the ninth, Terry Collins called upon Hansel Robles to take the mound against the Colorado hitters, a group that some are referring to as “more potent than a Peter North cum shot.”

Now if you’re thinking that Robles sounds more like a guy who would bag your groceries at Ralph’s or valet your car at a Crowne Plaza instead of a baseball player, you might not be too far off with that thought. After all, he sucks balls at baseball and could be looking for a new job in the very near future. Exhibit A of our argument that he blows when it comes to America’s Pastime is his bottom half of the ninth inning that looked a little something like this:

HANSEL ROBLES PITCHING FOR NEW YORK NYM COL
Lucroy hit by pitch. 4 4
Valaika hit for Holland. 4 4
Valaika sacrificed to first, Lucroy to second. 4 4
Blackmon intentionally walked. 4 4
LeMahieu walked, Lucroy to third, Blackmon to second. 4 4
Arenado walked, Lucroy scored, Blackmon to third, LeMahieu to second.

Hahaha. Pathetic.

But the real kick in the dick for Mets fans was the final pitch he threw to Arenado. Wait until you see this shit:

At 49-57, the 2017 New York Mets season has been a bigger disaster than Ray Liotta’s face, but if you’re looking to sum it up with just one pitch, that last “effort” from Robles should do the trick…

Wait, there’s more: The Umpire Who Ejected Adrian Beltre For Moving The On-Deck Circle Can Eat A Dick

You have got to see this shit:

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