New DUD Poll: What’s More Fucked Up, A Coked-Up Luke Duke Getting Arrested For Fingering A Girl’s Asshole Or Ben McAdoo Giving Giants Players Jordans For NOT Getting Arrested?

tom wopat

by Tommy Gimler

Man, this dude really has been in trouble with the law since the day he was born.

While taking a seven-minute break at Sturgis this afternoon, two stories almost as fucked up as Vince Vaughn’s thumb caught my attention. Now it’s your turn to decide which one is more fucked up.

Story #1

According to TMZ, Tom Wopat, best known as the guy who played Luke Duke in the hit TV series Dukes of Hazzard and Craig Iverson in one episode of Blue Bloods in 2012, was arrested and charged with felony indecent assault and battery after he allegedly walked behind a woman on the set of 42nd Street at the Reagle Theatre in Waltham, Massachusetts on July 23 and grabbed her ass. The woman also said “she felt his fingers go between her butt cheeks.”

Police were “actively” looking for him Wednesday night and pulled over his Ford Bronco shortly before 11 p.m. During a search of him and his vehicle, cops allegedly found a small baggie of snout candy, so he was also charged with misdemeanor coke possession.

So there it is. Tom Wopat is allegedly fingering chicks’ buttholes on the set of a play in Massachusetts. And it’s not even in Boston. Embarrassing.

Story #2

Ben McAdoo, the dude who looks more like a child molester than the head coach of the New York Giants, decided to give all of his players a pair of Jordan 4s for…wait for it…not getting arrested during the offseason.

So there it is. In 2017, we are at a point where NFL coaches are giving millionaires free shoes because they did exactly what you’re supposed to do on a daily basis if you’re a good human being: not get arrested. What’s next, giving your kids 20 bucks because they woke up and took a shit in the toilet instead of on the living room couch?

So you tell us, kids. Which one of these is more fucked up?

 

Wait, there’s more: Turd Mets Pitcher Hansel Robles Walks Three Rockies In A Row And Throws Last Pitch To The Backstop To Lose Game

You have got to see this shit:

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