Kato Fucking Kaelin Won The 50/50 Raffle At Monday’s Brewers-Orioles Game

kato 50

by Tommy Gimler

“The money won’t go very far in L.A.” Yeah, unless you use it on something other than coke.

Like me, Kato Kaelin left the land of cow shit and beer farts to chase the dream of making it big in Los Angeles. Fortunately for him, O.J. Simpson decided to kill his wife and her boyfriend in 1994, and people now know who he is. Meanwhile, I write a sports blog that makes zero dollars and do free comedy shows where I sing songs about jerking off in a cup.

Any crap, Kaelin made it back home for America’s birthday and decided to hit up Miller Park Monday afternoon for a game between the NL Central-leading Brewers and an Orioles team that looked hungover as fuck. He and some other peeps then purchased some 50/50 raffle tickets, and wouldn’t you know it, the “actor” and his gang just so happened to buy the winning ticket, one that wound up being worth $12,411.

No word on how Kato plans on spending his winnings, but I think it’s pretty obvious that the dude on the right will be hitting up his local Piggly Wiggly for a few months worth of Newports and High Life…

Wait, there’s more: Some Dude Offered Justine Kish $15K For Her Shit-Filled Shorts

You have got to see this shit:

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