Rickie Fowler Is On Fire To Start The US Open And So Is This Sponsor Blimp

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by Frank Rhombus

I guess Sterling Archer was right after all.

If you think today’s blimps or airships aren’t as flammable as their predecessors, well, think again, dickhead.

To say Rickie Fowler is on fire is a bigger understatement than saying I would like to shake Kate Upton’s hand, as everybody knows that I would eat a chocolate Pop Tart out of her asshole. Dude is already at 7-under, and he still has two holes left to play in his opening round at Erin Hills.

But that’s nothing compared to how on fire one of the sponsor blimps was earlier today, as the pilot was forced to parachute from the the cockpit because the sum bitch was literally on fire:

Who was behind the wheel of that thing, Tiger Woods?

Seriously though, tough break for the real pilot there, as the first responders reportedly had to treat him for burns and his ship looks almost as busted as Ray Liotta’s face. But hey, it could always be worse. At least he’s not married to a Kardashian…

Wait, there’s more: Jacksonville’s Minor League Baseball Team Is Giving Out Free Pregnancy Tests At Thursday’s Game

You have got to see this shit:

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