Regardless Of Where Paul George And Chris Paul Wind Up, The NBA Will Continue To Be A Joke

chris paul trade

by Tommy Gimler

We’ve been told that numbers don’t lie, and if that’s the case, then let’s call the NBA what it is: a fucking farce.

Your airwaves and Twitter feeds have no doubt been filled with the news of Chris Paul leaving Los Angeles for Houston as well as the mad speculation as to where Paul George is going to be dropping 20 a night next season.

Well, regardless of where that is, let us propose this question: Who gives a shit? If Paul and George wind up somewhere outside of Golden State or Cleveland, does it really matter?

Since the 1979-80 season, the NBA has produced the fewest different champions amongst the Big 3 (NFL, MLB and NBA). Much of that has to do with the current state of the league, where players such as LeBron James and Kevin Durant join forces with other elite talents to form super teams, leaving the majority of the teams in the rest of league’s markets as nothing more than fluffers.

Hell, since James has surrounded himself with players who weren’t fucking his mom, the dude has appeared in seven straight NBA Finals. That’s horrific news for fans of Eastern Conference teams outside of Miami and Cleveland. Seriously, if you’re in Milwaukee, why are you still going to games? So you can watch a team that will eventually bow out to wherever LeBron James calls home? That’s a waste of time, kids. Do yourself a favor and do something more constructive like jam a screwdriver up your peehole and document the results.

Seriously, over the last 38 seasons, the NBA has produced just 11 different champions. Eleven. And over that same time frame, only another eight have even made it to the Finals. That means only 37 percent of the Association’s teams have been crowned champions since I was one year old, while only 63 percent of their product has even had a chance to play for the title.

Now compare that to the NFL, where 25 of 32 teams (78 percent) have made it to the Super Bowl since the 1979 season, with 16 of those (50 percent of the league) actually taking home the Lombardi Trophy.

It’s even crazier when you throw Major League Baseball into the mix, as only the Nationals/Expos and Mariners haven’t made it to the Fall Classic since 1979. That’s right, kids. 28 of 30 MLB teams (a whopping 93 percent) have made it to the World Series while 21 of them (70 percent) have won the whole fucking thing.

You see, the greatest thing about the NFL and MLB is that teams can truly come out of nowhere and make it to the big game(s). Take the Falcons last year, for example. Show me somebody who had them going to the Super Bowl before the season started, and I’ll show you a fucking liar. Or how about the Royals of 2014 and 2015? Truly shocking that they forced a Game 7 in one World Series and then not only made it back to the World Series the following year but won the damn thing.

In the NBA, how many teams truly have a shot at winning the title next year? Two? Maybe three or four if you’re drunk? And that, kids, is what is known in the biz as a “fucking joke.”

So go ahead if you want, Houston. Drop mad cash on tickets to watch James Harden and Chris Paul make it to the postseason before eventually bowing out somewhere along the way to the Warriors. And if Paul George winds up in Washington with John Wall, go ahead DC. Drop $500 on a Wizards 8-pack.

It doesn’t fucking matter.

Unless LeBron James and Kevin Durant decide to put on different uniforms sometime before November, the only two teams who will be worth a shit next year will once again be Golden State and Cleveland…

Wait, there’s more: UFC Fighter Literally Shits Herself While Getting Choked

You have got to see this shit:

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