Macho Man Randy Savage Used To Beat The Piss Out Of Milwaukee’s Brett Phillips In H-O-R-S-E


by Tommy Gimler

Ooooooooh yeah!

We’re sure that the kid who grew up next to Rowdy Roddy Piper has one hell of a story about how Piper used to come over and plow his mom when his dad was on the road selling shower curtains, but this one about Milwaukee Brewers rookie outfielder Brett Phillips growing up next to Macho Man Randy Savage and getting his ass kicked in hoops every time he came home from school is also pretty tits.

MLB’s Adam McCalvy had the chance to hear the story firsthand recently, and it went a little something like this:

“It’s a funny story,” Phillips said. “Macho Man was my neighbor from seventh until 11th grade before he passed away. Every day, he’d see me riding my bike home from school and he’d call me over to play basketball. You would think one of the days, one of the games, he would let up on me, but that was not the case. I got beat every time. You know how kids are always like ‘one more game, one more game’? No, he was the one saying ‘one more game, we’re going again’ and I’d be exhausted.”

That’s a great story, and it just adds to the legend of Brett Phillips, which, yes, is already a thing thanks to what is probably the greatest laugh on the planet:

Seriously, other than listening in on the two girls down the hall in college fingerfuck the shit out of each other, that has to be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.

I’m telling you, kids. One more great story like this from Phillips, and he’ll for sure crack the top ten on the list of guys who can plow my sister. It’s only a matter of time…

Wait, there’s more: 12 Absolute Dipshits Injured After Taunting Bulls During Festival In Peru

You have got to see this shit:

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