If You Pay $495 For Lonzo Ball’s Shoes, You’re A Fucking Idiot

lonzo ball shoe

by Tommy Gimler

Well, unless they give you a knob job every single time you’re finished playing hoops, but even that sounds too filthy for my taste.

Former UCLA guard Lonzo Ball has his own shoe despite the fact that no NBA team has drafted him and his father yet. The price tag of those ZO2s? You guessed it: $495.

shit

Naturally, Lonzo’s dad Lavar wants you to know that if that’s out of your price range, you’re a fucking loser:

So basically, if you want a set of Kobe Bryant’s old shoes, you’ll have to fork over just shy of 500 bucks. We totally understand if that’s not going to be doable, but there is really good news if you only have, let’s say, $220 to drop on new footwear. That’s right, kids. These ZO2 slides are only 220 bucks.

shitty

Yup, that’s $220 for a pair of sandals that were likely pieced together by a six-year-old kid in Vietnam for pennies. Now the only question is, “Are you dumb enough to buy them?”

Personally, I’d wait until they’re on the shelf at a Play It Again Sports store near you for $20 early next year and then hold onto them for my 2018 Halloween costume, which of course would be me wearing a garbage bag with boxes of Summer’s Eve taped to it while wearing these shoes. And then when people ask what I’m supposed to be, I’ll say, “Obviously, I’m the world’s biggest douchebag. But hey, you can just call me Lavar Ball instead.”

Wait, there’s more: Here’s Miguel Sano Hitting A Woman In The Face With A 466-Foot Home Run

You have got to see this shit:

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