Toronto’s Chris Coghlan Channeled His Inner Willie Mays Hayes And Scored The Greatest Run Ever

chris coghlan slide

by Tommy Gimler

That’s Mr. Peckerhead to you, Molina.

Odds are you missed Tuesday night’s game between the Cardinals and Blue Jays because you were busy doing anything else. I mean, April baseball featuring two teams that are a combined ten games under .500? No thanks. I’ll be busy jamming a screwdriver up my peehole instead.

But while you and I were busy playing with our Klein Cushion Grips, Toronto outfielder Chris Coghlan, who you’ll probably best recognize from the phrase, “Who the fuck is Chris Coghlan?”, well, he was busy impersonating Willie Mays Hayes – not the Snipes version from the first Major League but the shitty one played by Omar Epps in Major League II – and jumping over Yadier Molina to score what is by far the most entertaining run baseball has seen since Sid Bream’s fat ass outran a pussy throw from a pre-roids Barry Bonds.

Yeah, that’s one you’re going to see about eight thousand times Wednesday morning.

Of course, it would be a sin if we didn’t pay homage to the first guy to do it:

Toronto wound up winning the game 6-5, but they forced everybody to stick around for two extra innings before doing so. Dicks…

Wait, there’s more: Looks Like There’s Plenty Of Room To Dry Hump At The Braves’ New Ballpark

You have got to see this shit:

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