So We’re Pretty Sure Texas Rangers Fans Are Sick Of Sam Dyson Blowing Games
by Tommy Gimler
Here’s one guy you won’t find on the list of guys who can plow my sister.
Texas Rangers closer Sam Dyson was actually trending on Twitter last night and this morning, and when your team blows a 5-0 seventh inning lead, that’s obviously not a good thing.
While the season is younger than a girl R. Kelly fancies urinating on, it’s safe to say that Dyson has been nothing short of pig shit awful this year. And it appears as though Rangers fans have already had enough his shitdickery:
To put Sam Dyson’s season in perspective, giving up those three runs in the ninth inning actually made his ERA go DOWN.
— Robert Behrens (@rcb05) April 12, 2017
Sam Dyson’s 3-run 9th inning lowered his ERA from 36.00 to 33.00. #LoneStarGrit
— Rangers Updates (@TXUpdate) April 12, 2017
Watching Sam Dyson pic.twitter.com/tChbqMQto3
— Kamden Earls (@kamden_earls) April 12, 2017
RT if you think she’s better than Sam Dyson pic.twitter.com/XWUIqGJeSl
— Cut It Out (@CutterW2017) April 6, 2017
I hung a Sam Dyson jersey on my doorknob and now it won’t close. @Texrangernation
— Frederick Butler (@FredCharles1911) April 12, 2017
— Forrest Scott (@foscott) April 12, 2017
The Rangers are going to fly Sam Dyson back to Texas on United
— Carter Karels (@CarterKarels) April 12, 2017
@MLB Sam Dyson is on pace for 69 blown saves this season. Happy to see he got his ERA down to 33 though.
— Ryan Fishburn (@ryanfishburn) April 12, 2017
If I see Sam Dyson blow another game I’m going to lose mind pic.twitter.com/zOktTd5OkS
— Tank4Fox (@SirLemon22) April 12, 2017
Why is sam dyson playing baseball
— bhase (@chaseneedham) April 12, 2017
Sam Dyson drinks Pepsi and flies United.
— Nick Rackley (@rackleysmash) April 12, 2017
— CofC Food Inspector (@cofcfoodcritics) April 12, 2017
I wouldn’t trust Sam Dyson to close a door right now #Rangers
— Ryan hykel (@hykel_ryan) April 12, 2017
WHY DIDN’T HE APOLOGIZE FOR SAM DYSON https://t.co/88f8kflWFk
— Caleb McCaig (@Caleb_McCaig) April 12, 2017
Rangers manager Jeff Banister stopped short of saying he would remove Dyson from the closer’s role, but he did say that the Rangers “can’t continue to lose games like this.”
Well then, Jeff. I think we all know what you need to do…
Wait, there’s more: Just Checking In Annnnnnnd Carlos Gomes Is Still Fucking Garbage
You have got to see this shit: