Justin Verlander Has Got A Dirty, Whorish Mouth
by Tommy Gimler
Sure, Wil Myers hit for the cycle today, but here’s your real highlight of the day.
Detroit’s Justin Verlander was all smiles after outdueling Boston’s Chris Sale Monday afternoon, but it wasn’t all peaches and fucking cream early on.
After Mitch Moreland doubled to start the second inning, Pablo Sandoval waddled his fat ass up to the plate and was facing a 2-2 count when Verlander threw him a nasty four-seam fastball that not only hit the radar gun at 95 mph but also hit the bottom of the strike zone. What should have been strike three was instead called ball three by home plate umpire Dan Bellino, and to say that Verlander wasn’t pleased about it would be a bigger understatement than me saying I’d like to sit next to Kate Upton during a matinee showing of Logan, as everybody knows I would eat cottage cheese out of her magnificent asshole.
Check this out:
“Oh my God, let’s fucking go. Gosh dammit.”
Hahaha. Fucking love it. Although, dropping an f-bomb and then following it up with “gosh dammit” is a lot like robbing a bank so you have enough money to pay for a one-hour plow sesh with Kim Kardashian but then spending it all on Khloé instead…
Wait, there’s more: Somebody Blew Up A Condom At Miller Park And Threw It Onto The Field Today
You have got to see this shit: