If Oregon Wins The NCAA Tournament, A 3-Year-Old Kid Will Finish In 2nd Place In Our Bracket Challenge
by Tommy Gimler
Look, odds are your March Madness bracket is almost as busted as Ray Liotta’s face.
But as our good pal Andy Ostroff would say, here’s the thing: Nobody wants to hear about it. I mean, all of our brackets are dicked for Christ’s sake, not just yours. Show me one person who had South Carolina and Oregon joining Gonzaga and North Carolina in the Final Four this Saturday who didn’t fill out 206 different brackets, and I’ll show you a liar.
Just how bad are everybody’s brackets this year? Well, take this into consideration:
If the Oregon Ducks win their next two games, a three-year-old kid will finish second in The Daily Upper Decker’s NCAA Tournament Bracket Challenge.
Who’ll finish first and take home the $50 prize for doing so? You guessed it: His mom. I know this because the kid is my three-year-old nephew who just picked teams based on colors he liked, and his mom is my sister, who has spent just as much time watching college basketball this year as I have punching my clown to gay porn: none.
If the two one-seeds take care of business and meet in the championship game, it’ll come down to either Mike Gemme (Gonzaga) or Tim Wacker (UNC) pocketing the 50 bucks. If any other scenario plays out, it gets pretty damn messy. I guess just like Ray Liotta’s face, if you want to finish this by coming full circle…
Wait, there’s more: So Kentucky Fans Are Taking Their Elite Eight Loss To UNC Really Well
You have got to see this shit: