4 Things We Learned From Yesterday’s Madness


by Frank Rhombus

Taking Vermont all the way to the Elite Eight was a bold move but a bad choice.

Usually when we make it through the first day of the NCAA Tournament without any major upsets – MTSU over a dog shit Minnesota team was not an upset – it means that the next day is going to be almost as fucked up as Gary Busey. And for the sake of all of those who have New Mexico State or Troy making a deep run into the second weekend, let’s hope so.

With that said, there were still plenty of things to take away from yesterday’s action. Here’s what is making our peeholes itch:

5) Either Vanderbilt’s Matthew Fisher-Davis was involved in a fix or he’s a goddamn moron whose homework often times doesn’t have his own handwriting on it.

With just a c-hair over 17 seconds remaining in their game against Northwestern, Vandy’s Riley LaChance hit a layup that put the Commodores up one. Sounds like a perfect time to intentionally foul Northwestern’s best free-throw shooter. Wait, what?

Granted this wasn’t the national championship game, but as far as fishy and/or shitdick tournament moments go, this one is right up there with Chris Webber calling timeout when his team didn’t have any. Making things even more suspicious, Vandy still had 14 seconds left to get down the floor and set up a final play for the win but settled on a deep three-ball that wasn’t even close instead.

Either we just witnessed a game that was filthier than Ava Devine or it’s time to remove the “smart school” label that’s usually attached to Vanderbilt…

4) Nobody felt worse after their team won than West Virginia’s Elijah Macon. Remember that time when you got drilled in the face by a basketball that was thrown from a mere two feet away? Yeah, odds are you don’t. Ouch.  

3) It turns out Wisconsin can hit their free throws.

Heading into Thursday’s game against Virginia Tech, the Badgers were the second-worst free-throw shooting team in the tourney. That along with the fact that Nigel Hayes had spent so much time lobbying for student-athletes to get paid that he seemingly forgot how to play the game of basketball not only led to Bucky getting a horrific 8-seed in Villanova’s region, but it also kept many people from picking them to make a deep run in this year’s tournament.

Well, Hayes went for 16 and 10 and more importantly hit eight of nine from the charity stripe, and the Badgers shot 76 percent from the free-throw line as a team. It also helped that Bronson Koenig was unconscious from beyond the arc, hitting a school-record eight three-pointers. They’ll need a lot more of that to advance to next weekend, but at least now we know it’s possible…

2) Every #1 that has ever faced Mount St. Mary’s in the first round has gone on to win the tourney.

Yeah, that’s something Wisconsin fans didn’t want to hear.

Villanova should have covered the 25-point spread against the Mountaineers yesterday (right, Brian Portz?), but a missed dunk here and a lethargic play or two or six there meant the Wildcats only won by 20. Nova was only up one at half, and to be brutally honest, they looked like absolute dog shit for the majority of the 40 minutes they were on the floor. I mean, Mount St. Mary’s had some dude playing for them that was shorter than my mom, and they were only down 11 with six and change left to play in the game.

The good news for Villanova fans is that they won the tourney last year. Plus, if you graduated from there then odds are you’re rich, so we don’t want to hear it. Also, my favorite stat from yesterday – and one of those “Well, where the fuck was that info before I filled out my bracket” stats - is that fact that Kentucky (1996), Michigan State (2000) and North Carolina (2009) have all played Mount St. Mary’s as a 1-seed and gone on to win the whole fucking thing.

So, you’ve got that going for you, Nova fans, which is nice…

Wait, there’s more: Intentionally Breaking Somebody’s Leg When You’re All Shitfaced Is A Sport I’d Pay 12 Bucks To Watch

You have got to see this shit:


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