Shoutout To This PGA Tour Golfer Who Got A DUI But Still Showed Up For His Tee Time
by Tommy Gimler
Apparently they didn’t tell this guy that you don’t have to be wasted to play in the Waste Management Phoenix Open.
Or let’s see here, what’s another obvious cheesedick joke I can sneak in here? Oh, it looks as though at least one golfer at the Waste Management Phoenix Open didn’t manage the whole getting wasted thing very well. Whatever. You get the point.
Meet Steven Bowditch. Now odds are you best recognize his name from the phrase, “Who in the hell is Steven Bowditch?”
Well, Steven Bowditch got shithoused in Scottsdale Thursday night after shooting an opening round 74 in the Waste Management Phoenix Open, which is the closest thing the PGA Tour has to a “Happy Gilmore” tourney. But instead of dropping seven bucks on an Uber when he was done getting sauced at 1 a.m., Bowditch decided to get behind the wheel of car and give it a go.
That turned out to be about as good of a decision as jamming a rusty screwdriver up your peehole, as somebody saw his vehicle “swerving all over the road” and called the cops. According to CBS Sports, the rest of it played out like this:
The incident, according to police, began to unfold at approximately 1:10 a.m., when a citizen motorist called police to report an impaired driver that was swerving all over the road in a white pickup. The pickup, according to police, was later found at the intersection of Scottsdale Road and Lincoln, where it sat through two green traffic signals without moving.
Police woke him up while he was still behind the wheel and booked him for an “extreme DUI” since his BAC was more than .15, but that’s not even close to being the craziest part of the story. That honor goes to the fact that he somehow got out of the clink and made it to the course in time for his second round tee time Friday morning.
He once again shot a 74 and missed the cut, but hey, that’s pretty fucking impressive for a dude who had to be woken up behind the wheel of his car that was stopped in the middle of the road just a few hours earlier…
Wait, there’s more: Help Me, DUD! I Don’t Know Who To Bet In Super Bowl 51!
You have got to see this shit:
“Steele fucked my mom” is a pretty wild thing to yell but alright pic.twitter.com/3peTGMnJut
— Fore Play (@ForePlayPod) February 4, 2017