Is Grayson Allen Fucked In The Head Or Just A Giant Asshole?


by Tommy Gimler

Geez. It’s only a game, Focker.

Apparently Grayson Allen learned somewhere between jack shit and absolutely nothing during the one-game suspension he received for tripping an opposing player again. Since being allowed to return to the game of men’s college basketball, Allen has attempted to trip a Boston College player who was in the midst of performing a perfectly legal pick, and he followed that up with a real fucking doozy tonight.

Watch as Allen chased down a loose ball toward the Florida State bench during Duke’s 88-72 loss Tuesday night, and for whatever reason, he felt as though he couldn’t complete the task without shoving an assistant coach:

So with three tripped players and one shoved assistant coach on his resume now, I’d say the appropriate question at this point would be, “Exactly what the fuck is Grayson Allen’s problem?” Seriously, is Allen totally fucked in the head or is he just the biggest asshole the game of college hoops has seen since that dude Carlton Dotson at Baylor who murdered his teammate?

I mean, what’s his deal, man? Did his dad ride him harder than Ava Devine in a Tuesday afternoon gangbang during every practice session as a child? If he made nine consecutive free throws but missed the tenth, did his dad mock him for five minutes over the one missed free throw, call him a giant pussy and then hook a car battery up to his nipples? If he accidentally dribbled the ball off of his foot, did his dad take him behind the woodshed and jam a baseball bat up his ass? If he lost a game in middle school, did his dad make him sit at the dinner table until he finished a plate of his toenail clippings?

If not, then where in the hell is all of this aggression coming from? Does he need to get laid? Is he Opus Dei? Did somebody show him his latest bill from Time Warner Cable or Spectrum or whatever the shit they’re going by these days?

The bottom line is that unless it’s revealed that he’s suffering from some kind of treatable disorder, Grayson Allen is nothing more than giant bag of shit, and neither he nor his actions have any place in the game of college basketball. Fuck him…

Wait, there’s more: And Here We Have A Dolphins Fan Barfing On His Pizza At The Wild Card Game Against The Steelers

You have got to see this shit:

What do you think? Leave a comment or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Image Description