We Make Bookie Our Bitch Last Week. Now We Go After His Family With These NCAA Football And NFL Bets

carson-palmer-sucks

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. We were hotter last week than two American girlies rubbing their vaginas together on hood of my El Camino, my friend.

And I’ll tell you something, bro. These silly games of American football are even easier this week, almost as easy as my ex-girlfriend Akansh, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Even Cousin Gokul got piece of that poon, and he has disgusting baby left arm. Sick shit, bro.

So here is what I am thinking for this weekend, bro:

NCAA

Ohio at Western Michigan OVER 59.5 Points

Listen, bro. The under has hit in every single game for these Bobcats of Ohio since Week 1. Since Week One, bro! Sooner or later, the over is going to come in when they take the field, my friend. It remind me of Cousin Anagi in college. She would let something like 13 guys inside of her at one time. Sick shit, bro. And she would keep doing this like nothing bad was going to happen. Well, I’ll tell you something, boss. One week before finals that year, her poon broke. Sad shit, bro. Take the over in this one…

Colorado at Washington OVER 56 Points

Check it out, bro. If Washington wants to play in this shit from pig College Football Playoff, they are going to have to beat Colorado by thousand points. No joke, bro. They will have to keep foot on gasoline or whatever you call it in this country and probably put 56 points on the board all by themselves, my friend. You might want to get two hookers in this one. One to make fuck with at halftime when the over has already hit and then one more to celebrate when it goes official and you make bookie your bitch, bro.

Temple at Navy (-3)

Are you fucking kidding me with this one, bro? I mean, have thugs in Vegas even been watching this Temple team play football this year? They have cover spread in every single game since Week 1, and they are underdog in this one? I’m telling you, bro. Something here smell fishy like Akansh’s poon, and we have already discuss that she was massive slut. I think she even fuck horse once for 16 Rupee. That is like equivalent of 12 cents in this country, bro. Slut to the max or whatever you would say here. Take Navy and enjoy easy win, bro…

NFL

Denver at Jacksonville OVER 39.5 Points

Seriously, bro. The silly American bettors are hammering the under in this one pretty much the exact same way that every single guy in my family pounded on Akansh when I was dating her. Well, except for Uncle Kunal. We caught that crazy fuck humping goat at family reunion. But every other family member with penis hammer away on Akansh, and now they all need pill for gonorrhea. And you might need same thing if you take under like everybody else. Easy 47 points in this one, bro…

Miami at Baltimore (-3)

Check it out, bro. Everybody is all over this Miami Dolphins team’s dick like Aunt Tanvi on any man who drives Mercedes. I’ll tell you something, bro. Ever since Uncle Omkar got sent to prison for beating shit out of her, she has really been humping her way around Toledo. Sick shit, bro. Anyway, this Miami team barely beat Browns and 49ers, two teams with combined record of 1-22. Load and lock up on Ravens in this one, as Baltimore might win this one by 15, bro…

Washington at Arizona (-2.5)

So let me get this straight, bro. This Arizona team has been shit from pig for basically all of 2016 while this Redskins team has been lighting it up like dipshit with gun in line for Black Friday, and we’re supposed to believe that this Cardinals team will win this game by three point? If you have been reading post this far, you are aware of how fishy Akansh’s poon has been for years, and this game is even fishier than that. Load and lock up on the Cardinals here, bro…

Last week: 5-1

2016 season: 35-39

NCAA: 18-19

NFL: 17-20

Wait, there’s more, bro: Bloomberg Report Suggests College Football Refs Are Slanting Calls To Help Each Conference’s Best Hope For The College Football Playoff

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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