Best Of 2016: The Most Depressing Press Conference Of The Year

dennis clifford boston college

by Tommy Gimler

It’s official: Playing basketball at Boston College is almost as sad as a grown man pissing himself.

Heading into the ACC Tournament in March, the odds of Boston College making it to the “Big Dance” were fairly similar to the likelihood that I’d be taking Kate Upton to pound town before Arbor Day. Obviously, neither of those scenarios played out, and it led to what was by far the most depressing press conference of the year. Enjoy…

This story originally ran on the DUD on March 9, 2016:

Yeah, when “going out to eat” is your best memory from playing basketball at a school for four-plus years and not “crushing ass” or “beating Syracuse,” then you’ve had a rough go of it.

The Boston College men’s basketball team just wrapped up a season that can only be labeled as pure dog shit.

Heading into ACC Conference play, the Eagles were 7-6 thanks to victories over powerhouses such as Maine and Central Connecticut. They then lost…wait for it…19 consecutive conference games (18 regular season and a 22-point ass pounding from FSU in the ACC Tournament) en route to a miserable 7-25 2015-16 campaign.

The last time Boston College won an ACC game? You guessed it: 365 days ago when they beat Georgia Tech by one point in the ACC Tournament.

Knowing that, you can really feel for this kid Dennis Clifford, the 7’1″ center who played his final collegiate game yesterday and was then asked about his best memory from playing ball at BC. His answer was surprisingly sadder than the Eagles’ season:

But wait! Just when you thought that answer couldn’t possibly get any more depressing, the gang at Deadspin points out that Clifford said “going out to eat” despite the fact that half of his teammates bloodily shit their brains out three months ago thanks to an E. Coli outbreak at a Chipotle near campus.

Jesus.

Somebody needs to get this kid a hooker pronto…

Wait, there’s more: Best Of 2016: An Absolute Pile Of Shit Cavs Fan Literally Ate Shit At Their Championship Parade

You have got to see this shit:

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