Army-Navy Game Is Perfect Start To Weekend Of Making Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

army-navy_game

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. Do not sleep on this Packers team from Green Bay either, bro.

Check it out, bro. Every year, this country’s Army plays a silly game of American football against the Navy, and I have to tell you, my friend, it’s about as entertaining as watching Grandpa Sahir trying to eat carrots without shitting pants.

Anyway, here is what I am thinking about this weekend, starting with that Army-Navy game on Saturday, bro:

NCAA

Army at Navy (-6), (-240) and OVER 47 Points

Listen, bro. This Army team hasn’t won this game since before I got this massive bush of pubic hair that scares many American girlies. And while the fact that Navy is less than touchdown favorite in this one might smell almost as fishy as my ex-girlfriend Akansh (biggest slut in Howrah, bro), I think most surprising bet of game will be that over comes in big time in this one, bro. Don’t take it to bank or whatever you say in this country, but I will definitely be putting Rupee Aunt Tanvi gave to me for holidays on the over, my friend. And she has been making plenty of Rupee humping her way around Toledo now that Uncle Omkar got sent to prison for beating piss out of her, so it will be big bet, bro…

NFL

Cincinnati at Cleveland OVER 42 Points

Check it out, bro. The fact that most of Ohio will be stuck watching this shit from pig game is crazier than Uncle Kumar, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro. Almost as sick as this Cleveland Browns team. But they are coached by guy who used to run Bengals offense, so he will know thing or two on how to score the points against them. At least I think so, my friend. These games are what you call shooting crap or crapshoot or whatever you call it in this country, bro…

New York Jets at San Francisco 49ers OVER 43.5 Points

Seriously, bro. Did you watch either of these shit from pig teams attempt to play the silly game of American football last week? If so, I’m sorry, bro. Based on what I saw, the point total in this one should be no higher than 12, so when I see that it is almost 44 point, I think that this game is more fixed than neighbor’s dog, my friend. You watch, bro. Both of these offenses will suddenly be more potent than Cousin Deepak, and he has something like nine or ten kids and he’s just 27 years old. I heard he knock up one girl after she wash her face with wash cloth he used to clean up sperm off her breast the night before. Could just be urban legend though, bro…

Seattle at Green Bay (+2.5)

Let me tell you something, bro. A few weeks ago, this gay quarterback for Packers goes on TV and says that his team will win every game for the rest of year. And check it out, bro. I believe him. That Seattle defense will be missing safety because he shatter his leg into thousand pieces last week, too. That same thing happened to Cousin Manoj in ’04, but it wasn’t from playing football. No sir, bro. It happen after he walked into street of Howrah without looking and got crushed by runaway elephant. Sad shit, bro…

Last week: 2-4

2016 season: 37-43

NCAA: 18-22

NFL: 19-21

Wait, there is more, bro: It’s Official: Draymond Green Is Just A ‘Careless’ Asshole

You have got to see this shit:

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