Time To Just Flip Coin And Pick These College Football And NFL Games, Bro

NCAA Football: Michigan State at Ohio State

by Rakesh the Intern

Remember last week when Rakesh say, “Hey, bet your Rupee on Green Bay?” Well, sorry you lost house, bro.

It has been a shit from pig year on many fronts, my friend, but it has been extremely pathetic when it comes to betting on this silly game of American football, bro. It has become almost as disgusting as Aunt Tanvi’s toenails, and those things look like mushroom, boss. Sick shit, bro.

So at this point, we have no choice but to take brown coin with guy who freed slaves on one side and flip it to see who we choose this week. Here is what I am thinking for this week, bro:

NCAA

Ohio State at Michigan State (+22)

Let me tell you something, bro. Picking this shit from pig Michigan State team against #2 team in country is almost as crazy as Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking a goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro. But we have tried to make picks using stats and common sense, and just like Grandpa Sahir’s dick, it just isn’t working. Dude is like 103 years old now, bro. Now we flip coin and it landed on tails for Michigan State, so that’s what we will go with here, bro…

Wisconsin at Purdue OVER 48 Points

Listen, bro. This Wisconsin offense is almost as potent as Cousin Deepak, and that guy have something like 8 kids and he’s only 27, bro. If I was not flipping coin, I would probably be all over this under like fat kid on cake or however you say it in this country. But reason has gone out window like Uncle Rahul when he cheats on Aunt Varsha at night. He like to get drunk at parties and say how Aunt Varsha has not given up the poon since Bush administration, so he sneaks out at night and sticks dick in anything that moves. Sad shit, bro. Coin says load up on over in this one, bro…

Texas State at New Mexico State UNDER 65 Points

Check it out, bro. I had no idea that either of these teams existed before flipping coin in this one. Personally, I think putting any Rupee on either of these teams would be more disgusting than Cousin Pranav, and he still wipes ass with hand at the age of 14. Sick shit, bro…

NFL

Tampa Bay at Kansas City (-7.5)

I’m telling you, bro. Betting Rupee on team that does not throw ball further than five yards past line of scrimmage seems almost as stupid as Cousin Parth, and he thinks capital of this country is Nebraska. Fucking moron, bro. But coin says take Chiefs in this one, bro…

Chicago at New York Giants OVER 44 Points

Look, bro. Coin says that we should take over in this one despite fact that Bears best player has been suspended four games and the other team has Eli Manning in charge of it. If we weren’t flipping coin in this one, I would say that taking the under would be almost as simple as Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. But coins says over, so that’s what we will go with, bro…

Jacksonville at Detroit OVER 47.5 Points

Check it out, bro. This Blake Bortles is shit from pig, but we are putting our faith in coin that was made in Philadelphia in 1997. Take over and hope that you make enough money that wife will come back home this week, bro…

Last week: 2-5

2016 season: 27-35

NCAA: 13-18

NFL: 14-17

Wait, there’s more, bro: Would You Watch A Von Miller Sex Tape?

You have got to see this shit:

What do you think? Leave a comment or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Image Description