Kentucky Beat The Piss Out Of A Christian Liberal Arts School By 93 Points Yesterday

kentucky-ashbury

by Tommy Gimler

That’ll test their faith.

In a true David vs. Goliath matchup at Rupp Arena yesterday, the mighty Kentucky Wildcats men’s basketball team hosted the Eagles of Asbury University, a small Christian Liberal Arts school located just 16 miles to the south. And either God truly doesn’t exist or he just couldn’t give two shits about college basketball right now like the rest of us because Kentucky gave Asbury the kind of ass pounding that is usually reserved for a nine-year-old kid who tells his father to go fuck himself in front of his pals.

Final score? You guessed it: 156-63.

The halftime score was 88-25, and Kentucky led by more than 100 at multiple times in the second half. All 14 Wildcats players scored, and the team shot damn near 69 (haha) percent from the floor. Here’s the box score:

And here are some of the highlights:

The final fist in the ass came courtesy of backup guard Mychal “Seriously, that’s how he spells his first name” Mulder, who decided to throw down a monster jam with less than a minute to play over some poor white kid who has the heart of Don Beebe but a brain the size of an Asian prick:

In a related story, congrats to college basketball for making an appearance on the DUD in early November. Well, see you in March…

Wait, there’s more: Paul George Goes Full Turd, Kicks Ball Into Stands And Hits Fan In The Face

You have got to see this shit:

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