Michael Irvin Says Ezekiel Elliott Talking About Running The Football Makes Him Want To Jerk Off

Seattle Seahawks v Arizona Cardinals

by Tommy Gimler

If that’s the case, he’d probably rip his dick off if somebody gave him a free trial to Brazzers.

When it comes to punching your clown, every guy is different. Some dudes can’t make the bald guy puke unless there are two fake-tittied broads scissoring each other on the kitchen table. Other guys only pound their hammers to women old enough to possess an AARP card. And still others can’t smoke their turkeys unless they’re downstairs on their mom’s computer watching two black dudes double team a Russian girl in a Motel 6 in a video titled “Paying Rent.”

And then there’s former Dallas Cowboys receiver and current NFL Network analyst Michael Irvin. What is he washing his Buick to these days? You guessed it: Rookie sensation Ezekiel Elliott talking about running the football.

Good lord! Based on that, we’ll assume Emmitt Smith frequently asked to shower separately from the rest of the team.

Well, good luck with that, Michael. Just remember, it didn’t work out too well for Pee Wee Herman…

Wait, there’s more: Stay On The Sidelines, Romo

You have got to see that shit:

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