Bruins Prospect Gets Drilled In Nuts By Puck, Testicle Swells To Size Of Tennis Ball
by Frank Rhombus
It’s a painful day for American sports fans, as today is easily the worst sports day of the year. I mean, I risked my Streak for the Cash winning streak on a WNBA game today for Christ’s sake. Twice.
But the pain the majority of us are suffering through today is nothing compared to what the 14th overall pick in the 2015 NHL Draft told WEEI he endured after getting hit in the beanbag with a slap shot during a game last November.
Jake DeBrusk was the second of Boston’s three first-round picks last year, and initially, he didn’t disappoint for the WHL’s Swift Current Broncos. But that all changed on November 3 when a slap shot drilled him in one of his grapes that wasn’t protected by his cup at the time of impact.
The puck hit DeBrusk’s plum so hard that it “inflamed to the size of a tennis ball and he fainted at the hospital before surgery could even be performed.”
Here’s how he described it to the gang at WEEI:
“It was the scariest thing, looking down and it’s just like, ‘Oh my god. What’s going to happen?’ You’re 18 years old and you’re thinking to yourself whether you’re ever going to have kids, things like that. I freaked out.
The only thing I’ll remember about it is just the pain. That’s the worst part about the injury, is how much it hurt, because I tried to get up. I went down and I didn’t know what happened, because you don’t feel it in that area. It goes up to your mid-section, so I thought my appendix burst or something, because I couldn’t move.
It was an unbelievable feeling. I’ll never forget it. I tried to get up and I had to crawl to the bench. I had to crawl and they were like, ‘Get up, get up.’ I was like, ‘I can’t get up.’ I couldn’t sit down. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t breathe. It was awful.
I fainted right before the procedure and I was in (a hospital chair) and I was like, ‘How’d it go?’ and they were like, ‘We haven’t started yet.”
God damn, son.
Well, given that scenario, if somebody told me that I had a choice between suffering through what DeBrusk went through or watching 90 minutes of Paraguay and Chile on the soccer pitch, it would be close, but I think you’d find me at the local pub watching soccer.
Here’s to hoping that DeBrusk never experiences something like that again. Duct-taping his cup to his body to make sure both of his rocks stay behind the wall would be a great start…
Wait, there’s more: Remembering The Time Rickie Weeks Swung And Missed During The Home Run Derby
You have got to see this shit: