The Braves Didn’t Just Fire Fredi Gonzalez For Not Being A Miracle Worker

fredi gonzalez fired

by Tommy Gimler

After trading away baseball’s best closer and defensive shortstop as well as several other players who actually knew how to play the game during the last few offseasons, we’re not sure what the Atlanta Braves front office was expecting from manager Fredi Gonzalez this year.

Apparently nine wins in the team’s first 37 games was not the answer, as Gonzalez became the first managerial casualty of 2016. Brian Snitker, who you might recognize from the phrase, “Who in the fuck is Brian Snitker?”, will take over in the interim.

But seriously, what were the Braves expecting Fredi Gonzalez to do with the 25 turds he was dealt this year? Finish .500? Win 70 games? Just not lose 100 games? Bud Norris is his team’s #2 starter for Christ’s sake!

In fact, expecting anything better than a 9-28 start would’ve been unfair.

It would be like taking away Lexington Steele’s horse cock and telling him to still go out and make award-winning smut or giving a chef a wooden spoon that’s been jammed up a homeless man’s ass for the last 14 hours and expecting him to toss a salad that isn’t laced with E. coli: Impossible.

On the surface, that might be what this looks like. But in reality, the Braves probably should have shit-canned Gonzalez a few years ago.

Apparently, many have forgotten that Atlanta finished the 2013 season with the second-best record in the NL at 96-66. But despite having home-field advantage against the Dodgers in the NLDS, the Braves lost in four games.

In 2014, Gonzalez and the Braves were 52-43 at the All-Star break and 72-65 heading into September. But piss-poor management of his bullpen and a stunning lack of offense led to the team collapsing like an Ethiopian walking into Golden Corral for the first time. Atlanta lost 18 of their final 25 games, plating two runs or fewer in 15 of those final 25 games. Forget about making the postseason. They didn’t even finish above .500.

Last year, the Braves started the season 42-42. Since then, forget about the wheels falling off the bus. It’s more like the entire bus careened off a seaside cliff, hit the rocks, and burst into flames, as the team has gone…wait for it…34-81 since. That’s unacceptable at any level much less in the bigs.

So, sure. Is it shocking that a team that stripped their entire roster of talent with the exception of Freddie Freeman got off to a pig shit awful start and then pointed at the manager and said, “Um, it’s his fault?” Yes, it is. But the sad truth for Braves fans is that this is something that has been brewing for some time now and actually should have happened at the end of 2014…

Wait, there’s more: Two Big Reasons To Root For The St. Louis Blues To Win The Stanley Cup

You have got to see this shit:

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