Erick Aybar Misses Braves-Pirates Game After Chicken Bone Gets Stuck In Throat

erick aybar chicken bone

by Tommy Gimler

Wade Boggs once missed six games because he fell on his ribcage while trying to take off his cowboy boots. Sammy Sosa once sneezed and wound up on the disabled list because of it. Hell, Luis Polonia once missed the World Series because of rape.

Baseball is a crazy game, and players miss games and seasons for crazy reasons. But Erick Aybar’s reason for missing tonight’s game against the Pirates just might be the craziest yet.

According to ESPN, the Atlanta Braves shortstop was scratched from the lineup because he was chowing on some bird and…wait for it…got a chicken bone stuck in his throat. Aybar reportedly showed up to PNC Park with the bone still stuck in his throat, but he was still in so much pain that he was told to go see a doctor. They fed him some sedatives and eventually removed the bone.

Now, there are two ways to look at this.

You could say, “Wow. That must have been some good fucking chicken.” I mean, we’ve all been there before, whether it’s chicken or a Double-Double from In-N-Out Burger. Let’s face it: Sometimes the food is so damn good that there’s no time to chew it.

But odds are we’re looking at what’s behind Door #2 here, and that’s the fact that 2016 has just been one of those pig shit awful years for the Braves where things crazier than Amanda Bynes just keep happening, and this is just another thing to add to the list of reasons why 2017 and a new stadium can’t come soon enough.

As for Aybar, the only way things could get worse for him is if he wakes up next to a girl Carlos Martinez got to first. In fact, a chicken bone lodged in this throat has probably been the least of his problems this year, as the former Angels shortstop is hitting just .174 for his new team. That’s the worst mark in all of baseball amongst qualified batters, as is his WAR of -1.7. Hell, his .207 OBP, .205 SLG and .412 OBP are also the worst marks in the game.

Come to think of it, Aybar actually did his team a solid by not chewing his food today…

Wait, there’s more: The Braves Didn’t Just Fire Fredi Gonzalez For Not Being A Miracle Worker

You have got to see this shit:

stealing a bass

Shoutout to Jeff Perkins for this one…

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