This Papa John’s Promotion Perfectly Illustrates How Pathetic The Philadelphia 76ers Are This Year

sad 76ers fan

by Tommy Gimler

It’s not like the 76ers needed an embarrassing Papa John’s promotion to illustrate how pig shit awful they are, but it sure as shit won’t be boosting team morale any time soon.

How bad have things gotten in Philadelphia? Well, check this out:


90 points? That’s it? I mean, what’s next, a free Gordita Baja from Taco Bell if the 76ers only lose by single digits? Two McDoubles for the price of one if the 76ers actually show up to play the game? A free cookie with the purchase of a Cold Cut Combo if every player who suits up finishes the game with a pulse? A free Frosty from Wendy’s for any kid under the age of seven who shows up to the game with his or her parents? Hell, a free ticket to the next game for any kid born in Philadelphia who actually knows the true identity of his father?

Despite their 8-52 record, Philly has managed to put at least 90 points on the board 72 percent of the time. Hell, they’ve lost 10 of their last 11 contests, but they’ve put up at least 90 in all of them, meaning as long as you’ve had an appetite for shitty pizza, you’ve only had to pay half price for it. And since most large pizzas at Papa John’s are 20 bucks or less, that means you’ve been paying less than ten bucks to fill your gut while Papa John’s still found a way to turn a profit.

And that means at this point, we’re not sure whether the 76ers or Papa John’s look worse because of the this promotion. Personally, I’ll shop elsewhere when it comes to both of them…

Wait, there’s more: And The Oscar For Big Black Cock At The NFL Combine Goes To Chris Jones

You have got to see this shit:

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