Several Minnesota Golden Gophers Basketball Players Also Enjoy Making Sex Tapes

kevin dorsey sex tape

by Frank Rhombus

The Minnesota Golden Gophers men’s basketball team is so pig shit awful that it takes quite a bit for us to dedicate an entire post to them. One of their players posting a few videos of women getting tag-teamed by him and a pal to Twitter is definitely that “quite a bit.”

Kevin Dorsey, who you might recognize from the phrase, “Who the fuck is Kevin Dorsey?”, doesn’t give a shit about what he posts to his Twitter page. Or I guess we should say that he didn’t, as he deleted account Friday night about 30 minutes after he allegedly posted two videos of him eiffel towering a few broads. The freshman guard was then suspended for Sunday’s game against Illinois along with teammates Nate Mason and Dupree McBrayer for an unspecified violation of team rules.

Head coach Richard Pitino, who joined his old man in this year’s college basketball sex scandal game, wouldn’t even say if all three of the suspensions were related, so the only thing we have to go with is a thread at titled “I Hope This is Nothing, but…” And after sifting through dozens of posts that were for the most part pure dog shit, we found one guy who claimed he actually saw the videos that show Dorsey and another man doing their part to fill several ladies’ gopher holes:

“I saw both of the videos. I apologize for being graphic but here it (sic) what I saw. In the two videos, two guys were double teaming a girl from the front and behind. In the second video, there was a different girl and Dorsey was taking the front while the other guy was doing her from behind. You could clearly see his face although he is the only one that I could see. Both videos were extremely graphic.”

Now for starters, how big of a douche is this fucking clown? I mean, “I apologize for being graphic?” What was so graphic about that description? Shit, I’ve read bible verses more graphic than that. And second, if this is an accurate description of what went down and based on the fact that Minnesota is just 2-14 in conference play, then it’s safe to say that this is probably the best team effort Dorsey and his boys have put together this year.

Obviously, posting a sex tape or two to Twitter when you’re a college basketball player in this day and age warrants some kind of discipline, but as long as everything from the filming to the penetration was consensual, then sitting out a game or two in conference play is good enough for us. And if you’re a Golden Gophers fan, all you can hope for is your team to play together next year on the court as well as they do off of it…

Wait, there’s more: And The Oscar For Big Black Cock At The NFL Combine Goes To Chris Jones

You have got to see this shit:

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