This Girl Will Give You Two Bucks And Consider Having A Threesome With You In Exchange For Two LSU-Alabama Tickets

jamie johnson

by Frank Rhombus

Let’s be honest: The two dollars won’t be necessary if the second part of the deal comes to fruition.

According to Jamie Johnson’s Facebook page, she is a teacher aide at Arcadia Elementary School in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Or I guess the correct word is “was.”

That’s because in 2015, you usually don’t keep your job at an elementary school when you tell the Alabama Student Ticket Exchange that for two tickets to Saturday’s LSU-Alabama game, you’ll fork over two bucks and “my roommate will consider having sex with you.” On top of that, when somebody questions why you offered up your roommate instead of yourself, you respond with “she volunteered, but I will if I have to I guess.”

Just so we’re clear, that’s two dollars and the possibility of having sex with two girls at least 18 years of age in exchange for two tickets to the Tigers-Crimson Tide game:

jamie johnson alabama lsu tickets

Yeah, I’m not going to lie, fellas. As long as that roommate doesn’t have a cock, I’m sad that I don’t have two tickets to that game. But if I did, given the fact that the cheapest pair of tickets on StubHub is going for just a c-hair over $350, just “considering” letting me hammer away on you and your roommate would be rather insufficient. It’s either happening for sure, or you’re going to have to shop elsewhere.

Johnson later added a few comments saying she was only joking, which is a shame for any poor fucker who really does have two tickets he’s looking to get rid of.

Personally, I think it’s fucking hilarious. Let’s hope for her sake that her employer does as well…

Wait, there’s more: So, Was There Any Point To That Asshole On The Bengals Shoving That Camera Into The Cameraman’s Face Tonight?

You have got to see this shit:

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