Seriously, The New Detroit Lions Offensive Coordinator’s Name Is Jim Bob Cooter

jim bob cooter arrested

by Tommy Gimler

In what is a real news story and an upset of biblical proportions, some guy with the last name Lombardi was just replaced by some dude with the last name Cooter.

Former University of Tennessee backup quarterback Jim Bob Cooter – the same Jim Bob Cooter who was arrested in 2009 for aggravated burglary after he climbed through a woman’s window, stripped down to his tighty whities and crawled into her bed – has replaced Joe Lombardi as the new offensive coordinator for the pig shit awful Detroit Lions.

Cooter joined the Lions coaching staff in 2014 as the quarterbacks coach, and since then, Matthew Stafford has been the third-worst quarterback in terms of QB rating amongst the 19 guys who have started at least 15 games. 13 of those quarterbacks have thrown more touchdowns than Stafford over that same time period, and only Derek Carr has compiled a worse completion percentage than Stafford’s mark of 60.3 since then.

Before leading Stafford astray, he basically had the privilege of picking his ass on the sideline as an assistant coach while Peyton Manning did his thing in Denver (2013) and Indianapolis (2009-2010). In 2011, he looked on as Curtis Painter and current Lions backup QB Dan Orlovsky set the quarterback position back 40 years. And in 2012, he was in charge of offensive quality control (whatever the fuck that is) for Kansas City, a 2-14 team whose offense ranked 24th out of 32 teams.

Cooter was also arrested in 2006 for DUI, so it sounds like he should fit right in in Detroit…

Wait, there’s more: Can Everybody Please Shut The Fuck Up About Cam Newton Being The MVP?

You have got to see this shit:

What do you think? Leave a comment or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Image Description