Here Is How The NFC West Will Finish, Bro

NFL: NFC Championship-San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

by Rakesh the Intern

Check it out, bro. The best division in football will beat piss out of each other this year harder than Uncle Omkar used to beat Aunt Tanvi. Good thing is that Omkar is now in prison, just like most of 49ers players, bro.

Whichever team win this thing, they will do it with max of 10 win, my friend. You heard it here first, bro.

1. St. Louis Rams

hot rams fan

Listen, bro. You might think that I am crazier than Uncle Soham for picking this Rams team to win division- and that guy once ripped penis off of live goat and fed it to his kids – but hear me out, bro. Their schedule is easier than my ex-girlfriend Akansh, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Even Cousin Gokul hit that shit, and he was born with baby left arm, my friend. This defense it the real deal, and as long as new quarterback doesn’t play like bag of goat shit, this team is going to give shocker to the world or however you say it in this country…

Last year: 6-10 (1st)

This year, Vegas says: 7.5 wins (3rd)

The DUD says: 10-6 (1st)

Nick Wagoner (ESPN) says: 8-8 (3rd)

2. Seattle Seahawks

Seahawks QB Russell Wilson

Check it out, bro. This Seahawks team’s schedule is harder than Rakesh when I look at girly that Russell Wilson is not having sex with. Fucking moron if you ask me, bro. Their safety might not play game for them this year, and their best receiver is tight end who will probably miss six games because of sand in vagina. There is still enough there to win Super Bowl, but if they lose home-field advantage, then it is probably over for them, bro…

Last year: 12-4 (1st)

This year, Vegas says: 11.5 wins (1st)

The DUD says: 10-6 (2nd)

Terry Blount (ESPN) says: 11-5 (1st)

3. Arizona Cardinals

cardinals female coach

When Cardinals hire this dude in picture above as assistant coach, Rakesh was like, “Wow, that guy look like he can still play, bro.” But then I find out that that guy is really girly, and I don’t really care for that…

Last year: 11-5 (2nd)

This year, Vegas says: 8.5 wins (2nd)

The DUD says: 8-8 (3rd)

Josh Weinfuss (ESPN) says: 9-7 (2nd)

4. San Francisco 49ers

49ers logo

Everybody and mom is saying that this 49ers team will have shit from pig season, and Rakesh can see why. Half of team is either arrested or retired, bro. But before they take Uncle Omkar away to prison, he tell Rakesh to always bet opposite of what stupid general public is betting. Now to be fair, he used to fix local Howrah cricket match to make sure opposite happen, but I think you get my point, bro. Load and lock up on this team’s over, bro…

Last year: 8-8 (3rd)

This year, Vegas says: 6.5 wins (4th)

The DUD says: 7-9 (4th)

Paul Gutierrez (ESPN) says: 7-9 (4th)

Wait, there’s more, bro: Here Are My AFC South Predictions, Bro

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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