Some Asshole Was Knitting At Last Night’s Brewers-Nationals Game

asshole knitting at brewers game

by Frank Rhombus

Just so we’re straight (unlike this fucking guy), I can’t bring a plastic bottle of water into the ballpark if the seal has been broken, but this fucking clown can bring in two knitting needles that could be used to stab a player or poke another fan’s eyes out when they try to make a play on a foul ball? That’s terrific.

Brian from Mukwonago, Wisconsin sent us this clip from last night’s game between the Brewers and Nationals at Miller Park, where with the game tied at five apiece in the top of the eighth inning, Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos fouled off a pitch from Milwaukee’s Will Smith, who had just returned after being suspended for being a fucking moron and caking his right arm with pine tar.

At first glance, it looks like it’s a video of an attractive young lady – well, if she’s 18 - somehow coming up with a foul ball and looking about as shocked as a black man who finally had a cab stop for him. But take a closer look at the dude on the left who looks like Napoleon Dynamite’s father, and you’ll see that he’s fucking knitting.

And we’re not sure what the fuck that is to the left of that pansy, but it sure as shit looks like somebody put a Brewers jersey on The Penguin played by Danny DeVito in Batman Returns. And I guess the next question is, “Just how many soup labels did that trio accumulate to score free tickets to last night’s game?” And while we’re at it, how many seats did that dude in the red shirt two rows back have to pay for?

Look, I get it if you’re a grown-ass man who wants to keep score in the back of the program as the game goes on, and I’ll even give a pass to the fucking dorks who bring a glove to the game even though they’re 46 years old. At least those nerds are there to watch a baseball game.

But knitting at a ball game, especially when you have a pecker hanging between your legs? That’s almost as ridiculous as putting the fat broad from Wilson Phillips in Playboy. Hey, Hugh. None of us want to see her with clothes on, pal.

Seriously, this isn’t a baby shower. This isn’t a 4-H program. And this sure as hell isn’t a gathering for Pinterest enthusiasts. It’s a Major League Baseball game – even when one of the teams playing is the Brewers – and knitting has no place within a two-mile radius of the ballpark. And from what we hear, it also has no place in West Allis, which has to be where this family of ass clowns has some kind of government-funded housing…

Wait, there’s more: Is Kike Hernandez The Worst Sports Name Ever If You Pronounce It Wrong?

You have got to see this shit:

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6 Responses to Some Asshole Was Knitting At Last Night’s Brewers-Nationals Game

  1. Matt says:

    It’s an event called “Stitch N Pitch” the whole section was fuller of knitters, and they got free bobble heads. Other teams host the event too.

  2. tgim says:

    That’s a dumb fucking event.

  3. R M Muller says:

    Try knitting-it may help remove the “F” word from your vocabulary!

  4. YarnBomb says:

    Somebody has issues with his masculinity… Why should you give a fuck about what somebody else is doing at a baseball game?

    Also, you can’t bring in bottled water because the owners of your baseball team are greedy fucks who want to make sure you buy their overpriced concessions.

  5. Granolen says:

    The author’s masculinity is so fragile that a man knitting threatens it…

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