The DUD Breaks Down The Ray Lewis ‘No Way’ Speech

Ray Lewis Baltimore No Way Speech

by Frank Rhombus

Former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, who once murdered two human beings but got off after striking a plea deal and paying for his boys’ defense lawyers, released a video today in which he expressed extreme disbelief that riots were tearing apart the city of Baltimore, a town that everybody else knows was built on incurable gonorrhea and drug trafficking.

Sporting the same cutoff sweats worn by the majority of bums on the Venice Beach boardwalk, Lewis sat in what we assume was his trophy room and recorded himself telling the kids of Baltimore to get off the streets.

Like a case of Red Dog on my uncle’s liver, let’s break this puppy down…

The DUD Breakdown

1) “No way this can happen in our city.” – Actually, given the fact that Baltimore was named the seventh-most dangerous city in America by Forbes, I can think of only six other places where this would be more likely to happen…

2) “Violence is not the answer. Violence has never been the answer.” – Actually, that is incorrect. Violence was the answer on January 31, 2000 outside an Atlanta nightclub when Lewis and two of his boys stabbed two other guys to death during an argument and then fled in Lewis’s limo…

3) “Baltimore, get off the streets. Kids, go home. Stay home.” – So, which is it? This fucking “NFL Play 60″ program is telling them to go outside. Now this fucktard Ray Lewis is telling them to go home. This is getting almost as confusing as Kelly Clarkson. I mean, which is it, honey, fat or skinny? Pick one and go with it…

4) “We put this city on our back.” – There may be people who have put cities on their back, but not you, Ray Lewis. You played football. That’s it…

5) “We got to go back to the beginning.” – As in what, the 1800′s? If you think 2015 is a bad time to be a black man in America, watch Amistad. The beginning is definitely where you don’t want to go…

6) “It takes a whole village to raise one child.” – Nope. Just two good parents…

7) “We have got to redefine what being in Baltimore looks like. Cuz there’s too many people putting in real sweat, real tears to make our city a better place. I can’t come back home, and this is it. Kids can’t walk the streets. This is our future. Our future’s in Baltimore. What we’re trying to build is in Baltimore. Too many babies paying attention to this craziness. And the sad part is, we got young kids trying to tell us how they’re going to dictate our city. That won’t happen. We must change this right now. Stop the violence, man.” – That’s actually pretty fucking solid. Nice work, Ray…

Wait, there’s more: Watch As This Mother Catches Her Kid Rioting In Baltimore

You have got to see this shit:

Kelly Clarkson. I mean, which is it, honey, fat or skinny? Pick one and go with it…

4) “We put this city on our back.” – There may be people who have put cities on their back, but not you, Ray Lewis. You played football. That’s it…

5) “We got to go back to the beginning.” – As in what, the 1800′s? If you think 2015 is a bad time to be a black man in America, watch Amistad. The beginning is definitely where you don’t want to go…

6) “It takes a whole village to raise one child.” – Nope. Just two good parents…

7) “We have got to redefine what being in Baltimore looks like. Cuz there’s too many people putting in real sweat, real tears to make our city a better place. I can’t come back home, and this is it. Kids can’t walk the streets. This is our future. Our future’s in Baltimore. What we’re trying to build is in Baltimore. Too many babies paying attention to this craziness. And the sad part is, we got young kids trying to tell us how they’re going to dictate our city. That won’t happen. We must change this right now. Stop the violence, man.” – That’s actually pretty fucking solid. Nice work, Ray…

Wait, there’s more: Watch As This Mother Catches Her Kid Rioting In Baltimore

You have got to see this shit:

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