This Thanksgiving, Be Thankful You’re Not A Buccaneers Fan


by Tommy Gimler

Being a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan these days is worse than being a Goo Goo Doll. I mean, between having to watch your team get curb stomped by 42 points by a pig shit awful Falcons team and the fact that your team is in last place in a division where a 4-7 record is good enough to be the big cheese, it’s been a pretty fucking brutal ride.

But if their team’s play on the field this year wasn’t enough to chap Buccaneers fans’ asses, then this ought to do the trick.

According to the Washington Post, at least one pair of fans who attended the Falcons-Buccaneers game at Raymond James Stadium earlier this month ordered shots of Cuervo that turned out to be…wait for it…shots of colored water instead.

Troy Sykes told a Tampa television station that he saw two broads next to him at a bar inside the stadium drinking Cuervo and figured something to the effect of, “What the hell? This team is so goddamn brutal that tequila shots might be the only way I make it home without first throwing myself into oncoming traffic.”

So, he and his buddy ordered two shots of Cuervo to help ease their pain of being Buccaneers fans. But instead of downing a few shots of the good shit, Sykes said they were served colored water. Sykes complained and received a refund, but the explanation he got from the manager was almost as much of a kick in the stones as being served water instead of tequila:

A manager explained that it was an “honest mistake” and their shots must have been poured from bottles kept behind the bar for display only.

Right, and Sammy Sosa “accidentally” used a corked bat in a game that he only used in batting practice to “put on a show.”

It would be interesting to see how many folks were served the colored water instead of tequila and didn’t say anything because a thought like, “Wow. That didn’t taste like tequila, but why in the fuck would there be anything else but tequila in a bottle of tequila? Yeah, that had to be tequila, just really shitty tequila,” went through their domes.

Earlier this year, the Seahawks were busted serving their fans watered-down beer, and now the Buccaneers are selling their fans $12 shots of colored water? It’s not like we were looking for another excuse, but sitting our fat asses on our couches this holiday weekend and drinking $12 bottles of real tequila instead of overpaying to go to the game and sit next to some dude who’s probably has a felony on his record while drinking the fake shit seems like the way to go…

Wait, there’s more: Wife Will Take You To Pound Town This Thanksgiving Thanks To These Winning Football Bets, Bro

You have got to see this shit:

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