Four White Guys And An Egyptian Walk Onto A Basketball Court


by Frank Rhombus

Odds are you didn’t catch last night’s Louisville-Savannah State college basketball game because it’s November, and that means college basketball matters about as much as a Jonas Brother. But after the Cardinals curb stomped the Tigers by 61 points, Louisville head coach Rick Pitino gave us one of the funniest quotes of the year, which of course means that white people everywhere are pissed about it.

Louisville held Savannah State scoreless for the first 15:58 and yielded just 26 points in the game, the fewest points a Louisville squad has allowed since 1947. And because most reporters are worthless turds, that led to questions about whether or not Pitino and the Cardinals were pouring it on against a much lesser opponent. Here’s what the two-time national champion had to say about that:

And boom goes the dynamite.

Pitino’s explanation was funny and beyond sufficient for us, as we totally agree that unless you’re coaching at Princeton, having four white guys and an Egyptian on the court at the same time is usually not a winning formula. But as expected, the turds at ESPN, who are always looking to turn anything but the actual game that was played into a news story, took issue with Pitino’s postgame comments.

The four-letter’s resident Jew Seth Greenberg even made what was probably his appearance of the season on this morning’s SportsCenter to talk about how “insensitive” Pitino’s remarks were.

“His glib comments were insensitive, they were hurtful, and they were disrespectful,” Greenberg told host Jay Crawford.

Fuck off, Greenberg. If they really would have been insensitive comments, they would have brought Jay Williams on instead to discuss how hurtful words can be. But in this case, if Williams and most other African-American analysts and former players would have been asked about Pitino’s comments, they probably would have responded with, “He’s right,” and that’s because it’s common knowledge that for whatever reason can no longer be said outside of a comedy club: On the basketball court, black guys are much better than white guys.

Who knows? Maybe white people can take solace in the fact that if you put five of us white dudes against five Egyptians on a basketball court, odds are we would beat the shit out them…

Wait, there’s more:

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