Nobody Wants To Play For The Raiders? More Like Nobody Wants To Answer Your Stupid Fucking Poll, ESPN

mark davis

by Frank Rhombus

The four-letter reported yesterday that “the Raiders are the least desirable team to play for in the NFL,” but their conclusion was based solely on a recent poll they administered to more than one hundred current NFL players, in which they asked “The only way I’d play for [team name] is if they doubled my salary.”

23 percent of the 82 players who answered that shit question said Oakland, followed by 19 percent who said the Bills. Cleveland, Jacksonville, and Green Bay rounded out the top five.

Now on the surface, the claim that NFL players would rather play in a town full of fat white chicks and beer farts instead of a city ruled by armed robbery and rape – but just barely – makes sense. However, a simple, closer look at the numbers revealed this:

There were more players who chose not to answer ESPN’s stupid fucking poll than chose Oakland as the least desirable place to play.

23 percent of 82 players is 19 players. But let’s say “more than one hundred players” means ESPN surveyed 105 players (and we’re being more conservative here than that fat fuck Limbaugh), it means that 23 players chose not to answer anything.

Or let’s say these Disney fucks wanted to run the headline that Green Bay was the fifth-least desirable place to play. According to their poll, 6 percent of the 82 players who answered said they would only play for the Packers if they doubled their salary. That means five guys said they didn’t want to play for Green Bay, and who’s to say those five guys didn’t play for a team like the Bears, Lions, or Vikings and were sick of the green and gold curb stomping them for the better part of a decade now?

If ESPN really did give this shitty question to 105 players on active NFL rosters, it means that only 6 percent of the league was polled (Note: It would be much smaller if the four-letter gave this poll to random players in training camp). So, because 19 of 1,696 players (1.12%) said the Raiders could eat their ass, we’re supposed to believe that Oakland is the least desirable place to play?

I believe something like this, which is even worse than the poll question, is in order:

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2 Responses to Nobody Wants To Play For The Raiders? More Like Nobody Wants To Answer Your Stupid Fucking Poll, ESPN

  1. Tom Greene says:

    I’d imagine the players who didn’t want to play in GB likely said so due to the weather.. or they are asshole Vikings.

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