Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny


by Frank Rhombus

Apparently getting skinny this summer is becoming almost as trendy among NBA players as fucking Carmelo Anthony’s wife. In fact, Carmelo himself became the latest baller to post a skinny pic of himself on Instagram today.

carmelo skinny

Whether it’s because the NBA might be revamping their PED-testing program so it actually exists or these guys are finally coming to the realization that chugging two-liters of Sprite on the basketball court is a terrible idea, we don’t give a shit. We’re more concerned with these three fat fucks joining the trend and shedding some pounds before November:

3. Anthony Bennett – SF, Cleveland Cavaliers (for now)

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Let’s be honest. Bennett’s weight of 259 pounds isn’t ideal, but it’s not as pathetic as his dog shit play on the basketball court. Bennett’s rookie campaign was almost as disappointing as Sex Tape, as the #1 overall pick averaged just over four points and three boards per game, and it looks like he coped with his shitty play by devouring gallons of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream…

2. Glen Davis – PF, Los Angeles Clippers

glen davis

In all seriousness, Davis looks like a black Hodor carrying Chris Paul in this picture. At six feet, nine inches tall, it’s a given that “Big Baby” Davis is going to be, well, big. But at 289 pounds, Davis is 44 pounds heavier than the maximum ideal weight of 255 pounds for somebody that tall. If former NFLer Scott Mitchell was able to balloon to 366 pounds, the sky’s the limit for this fat fuck one he hangs up his sneaks. Or eats them…

1. Raymond Felton – PG, Dallas Mavericks

raymond felton

The four-letter lists Felton’s weight as 205 pounds, but that’s a bunch of horse shit. If this fat ass is tipping the scales at only 205, then I’m sporting a ten-inch cock. What puts Felton at the top of our list of guys who need to drop some pounds in a hurry is the fact that he’s playing a position where speed and agility are absolutely necessary. Felton needs to stop playing with illegal guns and focus more on shaping the the ones just above his elbows…

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One Response to Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny

  1. Spooner says:

    Weird. NBA defense is already porous. Last thing it needs is dudes with less space between them.

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