So, Greg Maddux Used To Piss On Rookies In The Shower

greg maddux

by Tommy Gimler

Lost somewhere between the pictures of Prince Fielder’s fat naked ass and Venus Williams covering up her nips in ESPN The Magazine’s “Body Issue” this year was a little diddy written by David Fleming about St. Louis Rams rookie and admitted homosexual Michael Sam having to take showers in an NFL locker room. There were two big takeaways from the article. First, even straight NFL players look at each other’s cocks in the showers. It’s called meat peeping. And second, Greg Maddux used to pee on rookies in the shower. Yes, that Greg Maddux.

That’s right. Cy Young Award winner, World Series champion, and Hall of Fame pitcher Greg Maddux used to “mosey up to rookies in the shower, engage them in conversation and, while pretending to listen to them talk, secretly pee down their legs.”

Jesus fuck.

Imagine if Maddux tried doing something like that today. Imagine if Atlanta’s rookie second baseman Tommy La Stella was scrubbing his asshole with his bar of Dial, and there was suddenly a warm stream of yellow breaking up the suds that had become stuck in his leg hair.

For starters, you know Freddie Freeman would have tweeted a picture of that shit. SportsCenter would have aired that pic six hundred times during a two-hour special on bullying and hazing. The Al Sharpton of guidos would have been calling for Major League Baseball to suspend Maddux for the rest of the season. Fredi Gonzalez would be on the hot seat for not being able to control his clubhouse, and the Braves’ season would be in disarray.

Hey, I love Greg Maddux. If Maddux would have given me a golden shower, it’s something I would have told my kids and eventually their kids every year on their birthdays. We’re assuming others wouldn’t appreciate it as much.

Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a new DUD Poll:

 

 

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