Heather Lynn Is Hella Hot
by Tommy Gimler
We’ve been so caught up in providing readers with crap-your-pants awesome sports stories that we forgot what really matters most: beautiful women. Thankfully, our readers threatened to go elsewhere if we didn’t provide them with some eye candy this month, and we listened. Gentlemen and lesbians, meet Heather Lynn.
Heather Lynn is a gun-toting, bourbon-swilling, foul-mouthed cowgirl from hell! From the “Middle of Nowhere,” Kentucky and a bit of an adrenaline junkie, Heather grew up shooting guns, swimming in the creeks, and instigating shenanigans. She loves to go off-roading, saying, “I’ve got mud in my blood. Get me dirty and I’ll straight up give you my heart. Hahaha!”
Heather definitely straddles the line between rock n’ roll and country music, so she’ll either be head banging or two steppin! We’re talking Pantera and White Zombie meet Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw. Or in other words, she’s the female Kenny Powers, who she says is her “spirit animal.” She paints, draws, dances (horribly, she adds), watches too many 90′s cartoons on Netflix, and she most definitely quotes “Army of Darkness” more than is necessary or appreciated.
Heather has an associate’s degree from Northwest Florida State, and she’s returning to school to major in a field of science. Botany is the most likely candidate.
She’s also that lethal combination of hot, funny, and smart. “I crack way too many jokes and make stupid faces all day,” she says. “I’m a complete goober. Many people don’t expect much out of me when they initially meet me, as you might find me provocatively dressed and perhaps with a glass of whiskey in my hand. But contrary to what my appearance might lead one to think, I am literate, articulate, and educated. I get underestimated often, which gives me a chance to drop jaws and make people question their beliefs.”
On the court (so to speak), Heather won Miss Harley (Davidson) Florida 2014. She’s been a ring girl for boxing events with Galaxy Fire Promotions and was featured in the Clips & Hips 2013 tactical bikini calendar. Maxim Magazine featured her in their “Women of Maxim Inbox,” so her photo ended up on their website, posted on their official Facebook page, and tweeted from their Twitter account. It rocked my world,” she said.
And now, thank Christ, she’s rocking ours. Be sure to like her Facebook fan page by clicking here.