Hey, California Chrome Is Not A Human

california chrome

by Andy Ostroff

It’s been over a week and I’m still drowning in the disappointment of the California Chrome loss. Well, not really, but other than the owner of the horse is anybody really that upset? The fact that the horse’s owner was still producing sound bytes for national media outlets for more than 20 minutes after the race ended was ridiculous on it’s own.

You may have guessed by now that I am not a fan of professional horse racing. However, I am a fan of history, so if California Chrome was going to be the first horse to win the Triple Crown in over 30 years, I wanted to see it.  What I didn’t need to see was the media frenzy that it produced.  Everywhere you looked there was another compelling tale about this horse, which people seemed to forget was, in fact, a horse.

The coverage on the day of the two-minute long race went from 1pm until 4:15pm PST. Apparently there were lots of things to talk about including reporters continually giving the horse human qualities, like “California Chrome has a competitive spirit that can’t be denied.” Really? The horse? It does?

One guy said, “California Chrome just loves being in the winner’s circle.” OF COURSE IT DOES! Let me pose a question for you, the reader: Would you rather run as hard and as fast as you can while a miniature human sits on your back and hits you with a stick…or…don’t answer just yet…or…would you rather stand someplace where everyone is cheering for you, an attractive person drapes flowers around your neck, and you are fed apples? I don’t think a single person alive would contest that question with, “What kind of apples? I don’t get out of bed for no Granny Smith!”

Additionally, when asked about the horse’s pre-race walk through somebody actually answered, “California Chrome walked slowly around the track, he was a pure professional.” A pure professional!?!?!? The horse? I’ve never heard of a horse described like that before, and California Chrome is not the only horse that works!  Your friend wouldn’t come back from a romantic evening with his girl and say, “we took a horse and buggy ride around Central Park. Let me tell you something, this horse, didn’t even stop to take a dump. He just pooped in a bag behind its butt and kept walking…pure professional.

When it comes down to it, I have nothing against horses. They are beautiful animals and they should be treated kindly. But seriously, people need to keep this in mind for the future…

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